Vivid Dream

 I have been having vivid dreams lately. The one last night felt like a premonition of sorts. In the dream, my husband Kevin was deceased and so was my cat Alex. I was living in this house by myself with his cat Mitchell, who at this point is a very old cat. Then in the dream, my daughter who is now 18 years old, walks in the door holding large boxes. She is in her 30’s in the dream and I think that the boxes mean she’s moving in with me. She puts one on the table and says, “Look, Mom, I got all of these from your garden. Look how prolific it is this year!”  She started pulling out every kind of vegetable there is. I don’t know whether to be happy about my garden or disappointed that she’s not moving in. Then she tries to pick up Mitchell, but he hisses at her. She starts crying and telling me that I need to euthanize Mitchell and I get really upset saying he’s all I have left of Kevin. Anna said, “That’s not true, you have this house.”  So I agreed through tears and we both put Mitchell in the carrier for his final ride to the vet. 

I woke up with a sore throat and phlegm. I must have been sleeping with my mouth open. Kevin wasn’t in the bed and he wasn’t at the table. He was asleep in Anna’s room (she lives in the dorms at Texas state). I woke him up and he said I was sprawled diagonally across the bed so he couldn’t get in it. I wonder why I slept so rough last night. 

Wreaths

I made this fall wreath yesterday. Absolutely no thought went into it beforehand. I do not sit out and plan wreaths. I just sit at the table with all the stuff spread out and as I’m making it, I decide what will go on next. This is because I’m not trying to be professional with it right now. I’m only trying to make one for each season for my own home. With this one, I feel like I might could trim the leaves, but nah.  It’s fine. It looks good in the wreath spot next to the door. 

This is the one I had up all summer. I was going to stick small white daisies in between the sunflowers, and maybe some more leaves, but then I decided I liked it with just the sunflowers. I have enough sunflowers to do another one with sunflowers, white daisies, and leaves. 

If anyone has ideas or expertise, lemme know in the comments. 

 

Tidbits

 I’m taking a break from social media. There’s a lot of BS on social media these days. The final straw was that they were talking g about the Epstein files on a page called “My cat is an asshole.”  I’m all for releasing the files, but please don’t be talking about it constantly, everywhere. Bring back the assholes. 

Secondly, I watched the Netflix documentary “Unknown Number.”  It’s about a group of high school students that have an ongoing group text, and one day they start getting threatening messages targeted towards one of the girls in the group. They can’t figure out who’s doing it. The principal tried to figure it out, and he could not. A year and a half later, the FBI got involved and discovered it was the mother of the targeted girl. The documentary was really jarring. I walked away from it like “wtf did I just watch”. When the guilty mom was interviewed, she seemed apathetic. She was just like, oh well, I have a mental illness, can’t judge me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Thirdly, I have a really bad sciatic nerve flare up. It’s a good thing I was not taking my gabapentin when I was able to get refills and now have a stash, because it helps a lot. The pain radiates to my lower back. If I didn’t have the gabapentin, I’d be shit up a creek right now. Good thing I’m able to outsmart the doctors. Yesterday at work, I was doing inventory at a convenience store where the beer cooler doors were so super packed that none of the items could come out of the doors or off the shelves. I’m talking about cooler shelves that had 12, 18, and/or 24 packs of beer. I could not move those items at all, and I couldn’t scan the shelf tags because they were inaccurate. One of the shelf tags for a 12 pack of bud light said “Fuego Takis” for $4.99. I know there were no Takis in the cooler, and that 12 pack wasn’t $4.99. The edges of the cardboard on all of them were caught on shelf rungs, and there were items completely packed full from left to right. I resorted to sticking my hand under the shelf rungs and using my fingers through the shelf holes to maneuver the boxes further forward until I could lift one box out. Then used that empty space to get to the other barcodes by moving all other boxes around. I’m not sure how customers were supposed to get items out of those coolers. With my sciatica, it almost killed me. 

It still hurts today. If I could, I would call in sick. But my coworker has a doctors appointment at 10 am, and that infuriates me. Kevin has told me not to make morning appointments. She literally does it all the time. She gets time off all the time. She gets out of counting areas she “can’t handle”. She never would have been expected to do that beer BS I did yesterday. And I have a strong feeling she makes a lot more than me. But I’m not bringing it up, because I literally just got a raise. For her upcoming birthday, she’s getting four motel rooms in Galveston that cost over $200 a night for her family members to do some insanely expensive beach party. Jesus Christ must be nice. Unless she’s putting all of this on a credit card, she must be making more than me to afford that. And she’s also slow as shit. 

Upcoming is a three day weekend.  Although I may not be doing much all weekend except laying in bed. We did a massive spring clean over the Labor Day weekend, and it just about killed me. It also traumatized my cat. We’ve been living in this house for 18 months and never spring cleaned just to spring clean. Alex must have been worried that he was going back to my mom’s house. He hissed at me the following morning. But the place looks nice. Not sure if it was worth messing up my back.