I took October 2 off for two appointments- fasting bloodwork in the morning at my PCP, and a mammogram in the afternoon. I was completely out of refills on metformin and atorvastatin.
My PCP is a chain of clinics. The last time I went in Houston, a medical assistant and a nurse practitioner both gave me absolute hell about the fact that a psychiatrist gave me gabapentin for anxiety four years ago. They made it very clear that they were against that. So this time, I just called the appointment line and requested to go to another location. My appointment on 10/2 was at the Magnolia clinic, which I’d never been to. I made it very clear that I was there for metformin and atorvastatin, I was fasting, and knew they would want bloodwork. Everything went well, and they were very pleasant. Gabapentin wasn’t brought up other than to ask if I still take it. I simply replied, “Sometimes, but I’m really just here for metformin and atorvastatin refills.” Because that was the truth. With so many people becoming anti gabapentin in 2025, I only take it sometimes in order to save it for when my anxiety is really bad. And I really was only there for the other two. Nothing was said after that about gabapentin at my appointment. Everyone was pleasant, I checked out, and went for breakfast.
Fast forward to Sunday the 5th- three days later. My phone rang at 2:00 pm, and it was a woman from the PCP clinic chain. She said she was calling about gabapentin, and proceeded to accost me about how it’s a controlled substance, off label for anxiety, and this that and the next thing. I was completely caught off guard. By this point, they had already called in the metformin and atorvastatin, and I was able to already have picked up 90 day supplies of each. I had to cut this woman off from talking in order to get a word in edgewise, and reiterated that I did not ask for gabapentin at my 10/2 appointment, and didn’t appreciate her calling me on a Sunday. She combative argued that they do call people on Sunday, and I mean the whole thing was just out of line. I eventually decided to hang up on her, because all things said and done, I did already have the refills I needed. I got very shaken up after that phone call, though. It was extremely unnecessary, especially since I was actively trying to avoid the topic of gabapentin. I decided that I am going to have to start over with a new PCP, and just not ever tell them that I was ever on gabapentin.
It’s extremely difficult to find a new PCP, because when I call my insurance and ask for other doctors, they give me doctors that are unavailable for any number of reasons. I can only achieve this by changing plans after open enrollment. Luckily, I have enough metformin and atorvastatin to last me through open enrollment.
Yesterday while working, I thought to myself- I never got my bloodwork results. They were so worried about the gabapentin, that I never got what I actually went in for. The last time I had my A1C checked, it was 5.8. Some sources call 5.8 the lowest number to be considered pre diabetic, and some sources say 5.7 is the lowest end of pre diabetic. I’ve been working hard at my eating habits- there have been cheat days here and there, but I would say I’ve made huge improvements to how I eat. So I finished my section, stepped outside, and called the PCP main number. I asked for my results, and a man on the other line said, “Well I have them right here in front of me but I can’t give them to you.” I said, “Can I speak to someone who can?” He was like, “The doctor has to read them and then they’ll call you back.” I begrudgingly accepted that answer, but then called back again in about an hour. I explained firmly that I really needed to know my A1C, because I’ve been working hard at my eating habits. The person I was talking to this time transferred me to a nurse who told me, “Your A1C last time was 5.8, and this time it was 5.6.”
I said, “Good! Thank you!” And hung up. At this point, I am thinking of just blocking them. The guy I talked to first who couldn’t give me the results sounded like he actually could, especially since I called an hour later, talked to someone else, and got them. I really, really needed to not tell anyone anymore that I was ever given gabapentin for anxiety. It’s not just this one clinic entity that has given me a hard time. Pharmacies have a huge problem with gabapentin all of a sudden, and I have tried three new psychiatrists who have all been very hostile when I mention I was given this four years ago for anxiety.
I would be willing to try other things if they didn’t give me a side effect called Akathisia. They say Akathisia is caused by antipsychotic medication, but SSRI’s can cause it too. I have experienced Akathisia even on low doses of SSRI medications and Buspar. I have experienced it on all the medications that a psychiatrist would “try” me on if I went to one as a new patient. Akathisia isnactially worse than anxiety. I spent about five years blaming myself for it until the elderly female psychiatrist I saw in about 2021 that said “How about gabapentin?” She was a godsend- or was she? It's because of her that I've gotten the terrible treatment that I've gotten, but if I didn't have gabapentin in 2021-2024, I'm not sure I could have achieved what I have.
I have grown to hate mental health “advocates” who are like, “You deserve to be heard!” or, “You just gotta try different medication until you find what works!” My least favorite statement/sentiment is, “Going to the doctor for anxiety or depression is JUST like going to the doctor for a broken bone or diabetes!” My story over the past few years absolutely proves that it isn't. If I could show what medication works for me via bloodwork or imaging, then I would in a heartbeat. But I can only talk about it. If my story matched with their agenda, if I said, “Yeah escitalopram works wonders, in fact I can't live without it!” then they'd go “wow proof we do amazing things!” but since I'm saying gabapentin works, all of a sudden patient testimony isn't really diagnostic criteria anymore. I can see through the BS now.
On a much better note, I guess I am no longer pre diabetic. Proof that changing your habits works! I'm really proud of myself. Hopefully in January, I can see a new PCP, never mention gabapentin, and achieve an A1C of less than 5.6 maybe I can even stop taking metformin.
