Happenings Around Here

 First of all, I discovered Substack. I’m intrigued. It’s a platform where you can write articles about anything. Wow!  I subscribed to about 10-12 people who write about things I’m interested in. 

Secondly, gift card boss wanted to meet me at a convenience store right by one of my clients’ home, 15 minutes before my shift, so she could give me my $100 gift card. Usually she mails them, but I haven’t seen her in person since I was onboarded in January. 

The next morning, I used my Walmart gift card to buy five cases of bottled water for hurricane season.  This added up to a little over $20. With the rest, I bought solid 100% cotton quilting fabrics, because I am officially going to start sewing again. After quitting my training at the ABA facility and becoming very disillusioned, I lost all of my creativity and dumped all of my fabric squares and scraps into a clothing donation bin. It was a very rash and bad decision. My experience trying to become a Registered Behavior Technician was so off the wall that it temporarily killed my soul. 

I had two denim chenille quilts that the sewing was complete on, and they just needed to be clipped and laundered. I gave both to my daughter with a sharp pair of fabric scissors and told her to finish them and do what she wanted with them- keep, sell, or gift. She was eager to finish them. My plan was originally to have an Etsy shop. Maybe I still can. I plan on going back to 25 cent day this Wednesday. 

My daughter Anna is working a summer job at the day camp at the YMCA. She finished training this past Friday and the kids start Tuesday. The last day of this program is July 31.  She’s also working on adding lace to some of her own clothing, and she attended the graduation ceremony for her old high school to support her younger friends. 

The 16 year old granddaughter of one of the elderly people I’m caring for witnessed a classmate get hit by a car this past week, and this morning, the kid unfortunately passed away. Her grandmother is so worried about her, not only from the trauma of witnessing it, but because it was a hit and run and she had to give statements to the police. Talking to the police can be traumatic for kids, and hopefully these cops were understanding. She’s going to carry this with her for life. 

One of my friends had a baby on January 26 who just went home a few days ago. He was born with hydrocephalus and was in the NICU. She posted an Amazon wishlist, which I ordered a rattle off of. I love Amazon wishlists, because you don’t have to guess what a person wants or needs. 

I went to work yesterday with a woman who is 99 years old. She is adorable. She is being cared for by her daughters who are in their 70’s, and they just need a break. One of the first things out of their mouths when I showed up and before they left the house was that they would give her Benadryl so she’d sleep for me!  Oh?  I heard that was abuse, but I pretended I knew nothing. It’s abuse if you give it to a child to make them sleep. I’m not sure you can tell two 70 year olds who are caring for their 99 year old mother not to do that. Like I said before, elderly people are stuck in their ways. The last old man I took care of drank nothing except coke and rum. The ice melting in those drinks was his only water intake. A major difference between caring for kids vs elderly is that with kids, you always have to do best practice. If an elderly person wants coke and rum, or Benadryl, or cake for breakfast, or a smoke, then who cares. Just don’t smoke around the oxygen!  But if you’re a kid- don’t smoke at all. 

🙈🙉🙊

I have a lot of thoughts to blog about regarding the following topics:

Traumatic memories being processed differently, to the point where you probably don’t remember things correctly, and how that can lead to imposter syndrome when you have PTSD 

The low birth rate and how people are all of a sudden trying to promote having children. 20-30 years ago, they promoted not having children, or at least, waiting to do it absolutely last. It’s so weird to me to see how the propaganda has done a 180. Did they not think my generation would listen? 

I have some thoughts on Joseph Duggar’s nasty ass. 

I’m having Artemis dreams every night. Ever since I killed that deer, the goddess of the hunt is living rent free in my psyche. THE deer I killed is always somewhere in these dreams too. I don’t know how to interpret any of it. Do I need to be interpreting? 

Stay Tuned 

Pics and Reflections

I didn’t even have to ask for a raise lol. I just got this text from GCboss out of the blue. I’ve done such an amazing job, yall!  The new rate is $1 more than my starting pay and still $1 less than her cap. 

I’m getting a shift differential of $5 per hour for working with the married couple. This helps with the fact that it’s about 30 miles away with a seven hour break. On Friday, I went home in between, because Kevin was away for work and I needed to feed the cats. Usually my mother in law will feed them if we’re away, but the presence of Jordan kind of stresses her out. He darts out the door, and she’s really worried about that. So I just went home Friday. Yesterday, however, I did a lot of side jobs nearby on both field agent and iVueit. I’ve been having a lot of free subway sandwiches plus $3. I’m starting to wonder if the Subway employees can tell we are mystery shoppers, because we always order the same thing (have to for reimbursement). 

Today on my seven hour break, I’m going to go to a park in the town where they live. Kevin is off and may meet me. 

Here’s the damage the deer did to my car. I’m thinking back to when it happened, and a man who was local to that town stopped to ask if I was ok. He was very very nice, but he was kindly encouraging me to leave town. Now that I look back on it, I think he wanted to go back and get the deer. Some stuff he said about it makes me wonder if he did. Maybe there’s some unspoken rule in these small towns that if you hit the deer, you get to eat it. Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. But if so, I didn’t care. I’m not about to fillet a deer. 

Last but not least, here’s Jordan and all of his cuteness. He’s such a joy. He’s 11 months old now. I estimated his birthday to be 6-21-2025, the summer solstice. He showed up on our doorstep on 12-21, the winter solstice, and the vet estimated him at 6 months old. So it was perfect. 

 

The End of my Therapy Journey

 I want to type this post out in order to clarify why I never ever want to attempt to go to therapy again. I have concluded that while it does help many people with many things, it’s not for me.  

When I was a high school senior, three of my teachers staged an intervention and made my mom take me for counseling, because I was very depressed. She was absolutely livid and demanded to know “what I was telling my teachers.”  She took me somewhere for a free consultation and all I remember is that she was mad for days when they told her I was suffering from depression. Later on, she made me go to a therapist (I was still under 18), and the therapist that she chose basically told me that I had no reason to be depressed. She reminded me that I had both parents still in the home, my parents met all of my financial needs, even took me on summer vacations. She reminded me that some kids had divorced parents and didn’t have their dad in the home. 

Fast forward to the start of my panic attacks. I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me as bipolar the first time I saw her. Then I tried to get therapy, was refused by someone who said they didn’t treat someone with bipolar, and went to someone who “specialized in” bipolar. By the end of my second session with her, she told me I wasn’t bipolar. And stopped seeing me. I told the original doctor, who then just changed what was written to anxiety and depression. 

Then in early 2025, I figured that I should probably get into therapy to sort of “maintain things” while things were going well. Only now days, you couldn’t just make an appointment and go. Now you have to “schedule a free 15 minute session” to “see if you’re a good fit.”  These 15 minute free sessions are absolute nightmares. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re on a job interview when looking for a therapist. 

I had one, and gave her the disclaimer that I didn’t grow up in a broken home. She assured me that was perfectly fine!  And that I still deserve therapy!  Then I started telling her a little bit about myself and that I regretted going back to school. She then said she didn’t “specialize” in people who regret their education, and her tone of voice changed. She wouldn’t see me because of that. 

It affected me a lot to be rejected like that. With the next free 15 minute session, I now had to give two disclaimers. I didn’t grow up in a broken home, and I also regret college. I also had to now give the disclaimer that regretting my own education didn’t mean that I was anti intellectual or anti college. I clarified that I fully realize that college is necessary for some people, it just wasn’t the right choice for me at the time. She said that I still deserved therapy even though I didn’t have a broken home, and that my college regret was also perfectly ok with her!  Then she asked what medication I took. I told her I took gabapentin for anxiety and she said “WOWWW!” She obviously had a huge problem with that. I explained that SSRI  and SNRI medications didn’t work for me and this does. She started talking about how SSRI’s work for so many other people.  I felt totally judged and didn’t want to proceed. 

It took several days again before I was ok with another free 15 minute session with another one. This time, I gave the disclaimer that I grew up with married parents, I regretted my college degree, and I take gabapentin for anxiety. I gave the disclaimers that I am not against college for other people, nor am I against SSRI’s for other people. These two things about me were just personal. She gave me this same pseudo-assurance that the others gave me and said it didn’t matter!  I still deserved therapy!  Then she proceeded to ask me who I live with. I told her about my husband, and somehow it got out that I met him at work. He had been my supervisor in 2023. And how at the time of that free 15 minute session (2025), I was still employed there. She said immediately that that could be a problem. Like he had some sort of power thing over me. I started freaking out that she would somehow make me leave my husband. I definitely didn’t tell her about our age gap. 

By now, I seemed to have a laundry list of disclaimers I had to give to potential therapists. I didn’t grow up in a broken home, I regretted my college degree, I take gabapentin and not an antidepressant, and I married my supervisor. Giving all of these disclaimers would now take almost the whole 15 minutes. However somehow I did still manage to find someone who agreed to see me, and she was my therapist for several months. 

I really just spent several sessions just talking and talking with her. She asked questions here and there, and eventually diagnosed me with PTSD. Then at the end of December, I remember telling her that my mom always claimed to have postpartum depression for 15 years. She told me that PPD generally doesn’t last 15 years, and that it was likely just regular depression.  But something shifted in her interpretation of my childhood. Before I told her about the 15 year long PPD claim, she was affirming of me and- now it was likely she was saying my mom had a reason for everything she did to me. After that, I was changing jobs in the beginning of 2026, and she claimed to have scheduling issues. She referred me to someone else, but didn’t tell the new person any of my history. So if I was going to start over with a new therapist I had to start completely over with my story, and that was exhausting. 

I finally took a long enough break to where I felt like I had enough strength to go through my whole entire story again. So I did. I gave all the disclaimers in the free 15 minute session and asked at the end of it, “Is there anything I told you that would make you not want to see me?” Because ALL of the things about me that therapists took issue with had nothing to do with each other. That meant that there might be something else somewhere in my story that would make a therapist either freak out or reject me completely. Since all of the other things were so unrelated, I couldn’t predict what that would be in order to leave it out. I just had to open completely up to these people and wait. 

Then my first session started, and I condensed my life story into the one hour session. At one point, she stopped me and asked me if I was sure something happened the way I was describing, or did it actually happen another way?  I was caught off guard and the anxiety began. We set up our next app for what would have been today at 4:00 pm. She told me all about EMDR, and I was grossly and extremely uncomfortable with it. I watched a video of it in session, and absolutely hated what I saw. It looked like a magic trick and mind control at the same time. I knew I couldn’t tell her my concerns because then she would be like “actually it’s not those things” and then I’d have no recourse. I emailed her to cancel and uncancel and she called me to reiterate that we didn’t have to do EMDR if I wasn’t comfortable with it. I told her what it looked like to me, and of course she tried to say “actually it’s not” but then pinned it on me saying “It’s not going to work on you if you are this uncomfortable with it.”  

The truth is, I am uncomfortable with therapy at all at this point. I was falling apart because she didn’t believe my story, and I was expected to go in front of her and let her do some hypnosis crazy crap that was extremely uncomfortable with. Even if we didn’t do EMDR, she still didn’t believe me. I spent the next few days in absolute panic attack hell, not wanting to go back at all, and feeling like I have to. 

Finally, I got to a point where I knew I couldn’t continue this circus anymore and emailed her that I needed to cancel for good. I called her out for not believing me, and she responded “Actually I was just trying to gather information.”  

Which, no she wasn’t. She literally asked, “Are you sure it was X and not YZ?”  I took her consideration and thought back to when the memory happened. It definitely wasn’t what she said it must have been, for several reasons. 

I am the one who was there. It was my lived experience and not hers. I felt immediate relief upon canceling that appointment, and have decided not to seek out any more therapists. They just won’t help me. It’s too stressful to “interview them”, because there’s no way I can get out all the disclaimers in such a short time. And I have no reason to believe them if they pull the “You still deserve it” crap. And how on earth am I supposed to feel comfortable opening up to people when I’m not going to be believed?  I know most people would say “Just find another therapist who will believe you.”  No. Do you mean find one who will pretend to believe me because they’re getting paid?  I don’t think so. 

I also wonder if this means I even “really have PTSD”. If things didn’t happen the way I remember them, then that negates the whole thing. Oh well. It would not be the first time I was undiagnosed with something. If only this really was “just like going to the doctor for a broken bone”. Then they’d know exactly what was wrong, exactly what to do, and there would be evidence of whatever happened. 

There is so much obsession out there with therapy that not everyone believes it’s valid to just quit going. The answer always has to be “find another one.”  As time consuming and exhausting as that process is, I can put all of that energy into literally anything else and benefit. It isn’t for me and never will be. 

Two Turtles and a Deer 🐢 🐢 🦌

 Today I did a big day trip doing my side jobs. I had a good offer on the Merchandiser app, and there were also good jobs on the IVueit app near the places that the Merchandiser app wanted me to go to. I had to go through some pretty rural areas, though.  It also rained heavily, and there were small turtles all over the roads. I accidentally killed two and cringed with guilt each time. However, there were about five or six turtles that I missed. 

Then on a two lane rural highway, a deer came out of nowhere and slammed into my drivers side door. I pulled over immediately and when I tried to open my door, it only opened half as much as it usually does. A man in a pick up truck who was behind me also stopped to ask if I was ok. He said he saw it but knew I couldn’t stop in time. 

Only my door is damaged, and the car drives fine. Therefore, I’m just not going to worry about the door for now. I only have liability insurance, so that’s not an issue. 

I called Kevin and told him. Then I called my mother and told her. The first thing she asked me was if Kevin was mad at me about it. (She didn’t ask if I was ok, because I clarified that I was ok before I told her I hit a deer).  But I mean, she could have asked if my car was ok before worrying “if Kevin was mad”. 

She asked that because my father would have been having a conniption fit right now. Kevin is more sensical. He knows deer don’t have all the smarts in the world. He drives through these rural areas for work all the time too. The deer came out of absolutely nowhere and seemed to be aiming for the side of my car, like a suicide mission. I’m actually more mad at my mother right now for thinking my husband would be “mad”. 

On another note, I made great money today (which will all probably have to go towards fixing the door), Anna is home (at her dad’s for now), and my weight is down to 197.4. Anna is starting training this Friday to be a camp counselor at the YMCA. It will run until July 31. I’m so proud of her and will most likely see her Thursday. 

 The fact that gift card boss called me the damage control is going to my head a lot. I love it. My husband and my daughter told me to ask for a raise. Her cap pay rate is $2 more than I make now. I could ask for that and get it. 

I have been HEAVILY conditioned to never negotiate or ask for a raise. The “no one will ever hire you” narrative was strong with me. I was taught that if I ever asked for a raise, I’d be fired immediately and replaced with someone who will do it for less. Negotiating higher pay during n an interview was absolutely out of the question in my upbringing. If I ever did that, I just wouldn’t get the job. When gift card boss hired me, she had already hired me before discussing wages. She was LITERALLY prompting me to ask for more. She was. She’s not going to fire me and replace me immediately if I ask. She also just said she wishes she could clone me. 

I still have a lot of “dread” about going to see the racist guy tomorrow (Remember, he saw me and said “finally a white girl), not sure why I am experiencing the dread when I already met his family. I usually have this level of day before dread with new clients. 

Reminds me of the meme. “Do a rep for every lie you believed”. Haha. I’d be ripped. 

There’s another thing I want to mention. I’ve been married one year and one month. People always tell women who get married, “Have a plan for when he dies or leaves you.”  That’s good advice!  I also think you should have back up plans in case literally anything else doesn’t work out. But, the times I’ve been told this lately, I feel like I’ve explained Plans B, C, D, E, F and G and they all get shut down. Most of the back up plans I’ve mentioned are things I’ve done before and was successful at. I hate being told to have a plan, and then getting six whole plans criticized as if they aren’t good ideas. 

Then last night, I tried to tell my husband, “Let’s..” and then suggested he come with me to do some of the “if he died or left me” things. He actually said maybe if his mother was to die before his stepfather, and his stepfather wanted us to move out of the guest house. That’s actually more likely to happen than him leaving me any time soon, so maybe I gave him some ideas. 

As far as writing, I’m still doing the spiral notebook with the skipping five lines. I am working on three major writing projects. Only one of them is The Child Advocate. 

I Had The Last Laugh

 It’s only about 40 days until my daughter Anna turns 19 years old. (And oh yeah that must mean that it’s the 19th anniversary of the disappearance of Madeline McCann), but I was thinking today how, when it comes to motherhood, I really had the last laugh. 

I started working in a daycare as a teacher’s aide when I was 16. In order to keep that job, I had to take child development at my high school during Saturday school. Saturday school was from 8-noon and could be either detention, or classes for kids who were behind or wanted to get ahead. That used to make me say I wanted to have kids someday, and I got a lot of opposition to that. I think most people my age and younger did. The exception would have been if they were devout Catholics or Mormon. 

When I think of how it ended up, there are just so many things I could bring up about my daughter and my experience raising her. Let’s start with the fact that I was one and done. Isn’t that the next best thing to being child free?  (I guess to some it is, and some it’s not).  But I waited until I was 28 to get pregnant, and I got an IUD right after my 6 week postpartum exam. Contraceptives have always worked for me. I went off one time, and that’s when I got her. My mom’s story with this issue was exactly the same. She stopped taking the pill one month, the next month she got me, and she also had an IUD right after I was born and was also one and done. 

Fast forward to today. My daughter Anna is studying at the University.  She’s a STEM major. She has been to four anti-ICE protests and two No Kings protests on her university campus this year. She is in the animal sciences club and has done service projects in groups at shelters and sanctuaries. She is coming back to town this summer, will split her time between me and her dad, and is most likely going to work as a camp counselor. 

She was volunteering at the local animal shelter in her father’s neighborhood starting at age 14. 14 year olds could volunteer only if a parent went with them, and I did. She started going alone at age 15. She has always put herself on the line to stick up for classmates being bullied. She doesn’t date, because she hasn’t found the right person, and that’s ok with her. She’s very emotionally intelligent and therapy savvy. She was an easy newborn, a hilarious toddler, and a smart and eager school kid  

I mean I really did win the lottery with her. This could never be said out loud, but I really wish I could go back in time and brag that I did everything right, even the things that were hard. 

Maybe if I had a second, third, fourth etc child, it wouldn’t have been great. When she was about a year old, I had a friend who was remembering her younger brother who died by suicide. She said once, she and her mom were sitting across a table, and her mom said that if she had known early in her pregnancy that his life would be so difficult, she would have had an abortion. I could see that. We wish we could go back and do a lot of things differently. As for me though, nothing with parenting would I have done differently. I would have had more kids- but only if they were guaranteed to come out equally as wonderful. 

But then again, assuming this about any future kids I had is just wrong. They also could have been great just like Anna. I always had to assume things about different aspects of life that were just assumptions I made to pacify someone else’s narrative 

I’m The Damage Control

 First of all, my 89 year old client is home from the ER and doing ok. I will see her this Saturday and Sunday. 

On Monday, I worked 11-7, and by 4:45 pm there was still no schedule for the rest of the week. So I texted gift card boss, “Am I working tomorrow?”  She responded, “I’m still working on the schedule, but I have you off tomorrow and Wednesday.” 

Ok great!  I was relieved, especially after having to call EMS on Sunday. Then Tuesday morning at 8:04 am, gift card boss texts me asking if I would work with a man with XYZ health condition who wants Monday, Wednesday and Friday for six hour shifts. I wanted to cry. I then told her that I was busy helping my husband the next two days (which is JUST when she said my days off would be), but after that yes. She scheduled me tomorrow which is Friday with him and also on Monday the 4th. I read his notes, and it says he had a private pay caregiver several months ago that was abusive. They apparently also had a problem with someone gift card boss sent. She copy pasted a text from his daughter letting her know what they wanted, and the whole thing was snarky and kind of bitchy, including saying “someone who knows how to follow instructions on a frozen meal.”  

I started getting the dread, but who knows he might be awesome. I had the dread before I met the poodle couple too, but they were awesome. Then yesterday, I was venting to my husband about it through tears. It really is hard on me to go see different people all the time. He tried to compare it to inventory, going to different stores all the time. I don’t have to explain what an inaccurate comparison that is- going into people’s homes and caring for them is obviously way different than doing inventory. I didn’t rub this in to my husband, though. He already always says he could never be a caregiver. I know he can’t!  In fact once he asked me what things to I have to do for one of them, and I started the basic to do list with “well I empty the catheter-“ and he was like 🤚 ok that’s enough information. 

Then after the vent, I get another text from GCboss talking about May 9. It’s hard to imagine May 9 on April 29 when every day changes so much. I asked, “is it someone I’ve worked with before?” She said no so I texted asking if I could call really Quick and she said sure. 

I basically mentioned tactfully that I have gone to see a lot of new clients in the about 3 months that I’ve worked there. I kind of asked why and then asked if clients didn’t like me and were asking her not to send me back. She said, “No, the opposite actually.”  She explained that when her clients have a bad experience with another caregiver and tell her not to send that person back, she sends me because she knows I can make a good rescue-impression. Then, she called me the damage control. 

Now, that’s wild to me. I am expected to assume the worst about myself. I’m expected to see myself as the damage, not the damage control. As a matter of fact, it’s too bad this was a phone conversation and not over text. I would have screenshotted it for the haters. 

Tidbits

 I stepped on the scale this morning, and it said 200.0 so I’ve lost about 6 pounds. I feel like I’m just losing boobs, and that’s it. But weight loss isn’t the number one goal. The number one goal is to make my muscles feel better. And boy do they!!!

Weight loss is the #2 goal.

I only worked 3 hours this morning with my “regular” 89 year old client that requests me all the time.  I put regular in quotes because of musical schedules.  It was all overtime! This was my first time getting overtime with gift card boss.  

Then, I went to yet another location of fitness connection.  I went to the women’s only workout room.  I did about 5,000 steps on an incline on the treadmill.  (My step count was already at 5,000 when I got there.)  Then I did “hip abduction” and “hip adduction” machines, one arm/chest press machine, two leg machines and the ab crunch machine.  

I came home and did some housework including a complete sweeping of the house, starting in all corners and detailed sweeping all to the middle of the living room.  My daughter has always been super good at this chore and would get $10 for it whenever I wanted it done. But she won’t be home for a couple weeks! 😭 

That’s one of the things about an empty nest.  You have to do their chores now. 

I did it all before work!! 🏋️‍♂️ 🏃🏻‍♀️

This is what my doctor replied in the patient portal when I messaged him last night about the Walmart pharmacist’s unhinged phone call. 

I also told him that I transferred my other prescriptions to HEB.  It seems like HEB will fill it with no problem,

But wow that phone call came out of nowhere. The most they may have me do is show my ID. 

This morning, I went to the gym at 5:30 am. I’m looking for a new gym, but still have this membership. I did 7,500 steps on the treadmill and five machines. Only four of the machines was I successfully able to do 3-4 reps of 8-12. The machine below was a fail. You are lying flat on your back and doing crunches. No thanks, at least not yet. I’m better off on the regular a machine where you pull up and your elbows and knees kind of crunch together. 

The other machines that I did were ones I’ve never done before. This location was set up in such a way that you could see the machines from the treadmill area. So I could watch people on certain machines and then step off the treadmill to go do my reps on it whenever they were finished. 

This gym day combined with my park day yesterday have me feeling really great. My arms, legs, and core definitely feel like that awful feeling was pushed out. Yes I told the doc this yesterday, and he said “Working out helps everything.”  Mind you, he said the muscle thing was “anxiety.”  It’s not. It’s a physical issue. 😊 

 

Earth Day 🌳 🌍

 Happy Earth Day 🌱! 

This picture was taken 13 years ago today when my daughter decided to celebrate Earth Day by picking up trash. 

I sent her this picture as a reminder, and she responded that she was doing the same thing today. San Marcos has an annual river clean up. 

I really did get such an awesome kid. 

I fell off the bandwagon with exercise when my mother told one of my cousins about it. “Oh, Danielle’s been walking in the park and going to the gym.”  Sounds like a harmless conversation, until they started accusing me of “trying to uphold society’s beauty standards.”  

I got extremely discouraged and depressed and stopped going. 

I have never felt pressured by society to be thin. 

Maybe some other people feel that pressure, but I’ve personally never experienced it. I have been shamed by some for things they consider “upholding the patriarchy” and maybe this is one of them. I will say that exercise and working out has made me feel really really good. Like I’ve said, I have a very uncomfortable feeling in my muscles that this has really helped. It wouldn’t matter to them how I feel, though. I really let my cousin’s remarks get to me. 

This morning, however, I got back on the bandwagon. I went to the park with Kevin, did 6,000 steps, and worked out on three of their workout machines there. 

Then in the afternoon, I had a doctor appointment which was a follow up ever since he gave me phentermine for weight loss a month ago. He said I lost 6 pounds since my last visit. (I was wearing the same thing as last month.) He also said I could have a higher dose of phentermine or stay where I was and I asked for the higher dose. He submitted it, then a few hours later, the pharmacist called me from the Walmart pharmacy and was absolutely belligerent and pretty verbally abusive about how phentermine is a controlled substance. I was caught off guard. They have acted like this before about gabapentin, but I was still speechless. This pharmacist was REALLY nasty about it and I just told him not to fill it and hung up. I kind of fell apart after that phone call. It’s one thing to have pushback from someone who doesn’t matter, like my cousin, but a pharmacist is in some sort of position of authority. More so than a random family member. 

I do have another follow up on May 27th, but I don’t think I can go through with this “weight loss plan” any more. At least not with the doctor. The doctor is my PCP.  I had really never heard of phentermine before last month, and I’m so confused why the Walmart pharmacy would treat me like some sort of drug seeker because I went for a follow up and the dose was increased by my doctor. 

I would really like to eventually get down to about 165. I’m going to have to try and not let set backs get me down. I also want to feel better from this unnameable problem in my muscles. I really really need to push back on the haters. And who knew someone could have haters for this. 

On the work front:  I’m going to be working with the 11-7 couple for the next four days at least. That will put me into overtime part of Friday and all of Saturday. Someone actually no call, no showed to them today. Gift card boss actually called instead of texted, at 11:30, to see if I could go. But I was driving home from the park, sweaty, no scrubs in the car to change into, and I had the afternoon appointment. 

It was a little bit of a challenge to help her in the kitchen the other night and do things entirely her way, but honestly, I did learn a couple kitchen tips/tricks from that fiasco. Don’t you know, the next day, she wanted to make a steak?  She said she was already sick of chicken. 

Cute Cats

 I worked with a new client today, and actually it was my second time working with them. Today while I was working with her, it started raining. Her window was open, but there was no screen. Pretty soon, about five or six cats started jumping in from outside. One after another. She had a name for all of them. Her husband then explained that they were all strays and always came in when it rained. I was like oh, ok that makes sense. They kept coming in out of nowhere! It was like a parade of cats coming through the window. 

Fun With ChatGPT

 I have been having loads of fun using ChatGPT to help me write “a book” based on me and my first boyfriend, “if we had ended up together.”  

ChatGPT is the most horrible author on the planet, but it’s great at helping me develop character arcs and plot developments on a life that never actually was. It’s so interesting to me. The ideas it comes up with and developments it suggests are practically genius, but the actual writing of the scenes is pathetic. “That’s so you!” And, “That makes it so real!”  are common sentences. 

My first boyfriend and I used to say we wanted seven kids.  That most likely realistically wouldn’t have happened, but in the book, I make it happen. Like I’ve said before, I write them as having a boy first, then a girl, then boy/girl twins, then adoption of a sibling group of three. Of their biological children, one has a limb difference and one has epilepsy. Of their adopted children, there is an infant, a preteen girl who is parentified, and a middle child who is a school mate of their biological children. 

The character based on me who’s a mother of 7 ends up with a career building marble and granite (and perhaps other) countertops for a living. And maybe other kitchen remodeling. That story arc is still building since I don’t know how to do countertops. It’s a long story. The father, of course, ends up a store manager. The story of why is a few posts down. 

ChatGPT is also helping me with my other book called The Child Advocate. I want the main character, the child advocate, to begin her advocacy working with a toddler who was born to drug addicted parents and fostered from birth by two women who’s husbands both died in freak accidents a few months apart from each other. In the story, people speculate on the sexuality of these two women more than the best interest of the child. I really did work with a situation similar to this, but I’m changing details. There was a whole lot of, “Are they gay? Or are they just two grieving widows?” (Why not both?) The baby starts walking at 2 and a half years old, because babies born exposed to methamphetamines have motor skill and developmental delays. 

There was another time when I was a CASA volunteer that I was an “assistant volunteer” on a case with a sibling group of ten. In the book, it’s a sibling group of 11, just to change things up. They are in every kind of placement you can think of- some in good foster homes, some in crappy foster homes, some in group homes, some with their biological father, some with their biological father’s family members, and some aging out. The CASA has to visit all of them and this way the reader is exposed to different types of placements that kids end up in. There’s no way for them all to be placed together. This really happened, but I have to change details for the story. 

ChatGPT is helping me with all of these story lines. It just can’t write scenes worth a damn. In one, I go see a five year old in her foster home, she shows me a painting she made and I tell her, “That’s so you!”  (Facepalm!) why does ChatGPT LOVEEE saying “That’s so you”?

Tiktok Ragebait

 I recently discovered this one guy on TikTok who basically goes into different stores as a prank and tries to buy three eggs and two slices of bread taken out of their carton and package. The store employees and managers try to explain it to him that he has to buy a whole carton of a dozen eggs and a whole packaged loaf of bread. He acts like he can’t speak English, and is wearing an African traditional print shirt (you can see his sleeve often in frame). He makes up a fake African language and reverses “sir” and “ma’am” on men and women. 

It’s HILARIOUS. 

What’s even more notable is that most of his videos are in Dollar General locations, but some aren’t. What’s funny is that when he’s in a regular grocery store, the employees are generally very polite and sensical. But when he goes to Dollar General locations, the managers just get extremely pissed off and completely unhinged.  I will never know what it is about dollar General staff.  After almost 8 years of doing mystery shops and retail audits, I can safely say they are some of the individuals you most do not want to piss off. 

Sometimes, this guy will even take a couple slices of bologna out of the package. In one clip, the bologna was disappearing under the conveyor belt. It was hysterical. I know what you’re thinking- does he break his cover with these people and pay for the items?  I hope so-  I mean it seems like he brings them in with him. One Dollar General employee was over by the refrigerated aisle looking for “where he got them from” all the while saying, “But we don’t even have any eggs.” 

I have had my laughs this evening. 

Cat Grooming

 I’ve never had a long haired cat. Jordan smacks us when we brush him and has gotten a little bit of matting. We found a cat groomer who took him today. I think he looks ridiculous! 🤣 

He looks embarrassed, and his brothers are hissing at him. 

I was hoping she’d trim his tail, but I was actually able to get a couple mats out of his tail. 

Happy Greek Easter Tidbits

First of all, I’ve lost 3.8 pounds in the last ten days. This is what the scale read each of the following mornings:

April 2: 206.0

April 4: 205.6

April 10: 203.2

April 12: 202.2

This is what Google has to say about a 3.8 pound weight loss in ten days. It’s completely fine. 

Today, we had flash flooding, so I didn’t go to the park. I am also afraid to go back to fitness connection, even though I have a membership until May 31. I can go to another location, but I’m afraid once I swipe in, I’ll be flagged as the woman who ditched the pushy salesman/personal trainer, and alarms will go off or something.  

I need to find a new gym. It’s going to be too hot soon to be going to the park. 

 

A good resource for working out is Heather Roberts on YouTube. I’m not sure I’m in any kind of headspace to just be exercising at home though. 

I want to make a quick vent about something. Some people who consider themselves big “mental health advocates” and really try to raise awareness about the validity of having a mental health diagnosis and will say things like “erase the stigma”.  You know who I’m talking about. Well, it seems like the very minute they don’t like someone or disagree with someone, they will use a mental health issue in order to insult that person- Thus creating stigma. I hope what I’m saying makes sense. And they’ll use unpopular diagnoses. They won’t insult someone by saying they have depression or any sort of neurodivergence, because those things are trendy. They’ll use personality disorders, especially narcissism. And EVEN if they don’t use a diagnostic term. They will tell the person they are trying to insult to “seek therapy.”  When, every other time, they are trying to make therapy into a respectable, commendable choice that should be celebrated. They’ll say there’s nothing wrong with going to therapy, but when they want to demean someone, they’ll use go to therapy. It’s such a weird juxtaposition. I’m not saying this because people do this to me. It has happened to me here and there, but I see it happening publicly all the time, in particular with celebrities, politicians, and the person’s own estranged family members. Please be aware that if you do this, then this is what creates the stigma that you want erased during awareness month. I’m just saying. 

On a brighter note, it’s Greek Easter, and my mom partied with about 50 people. She’s been trying to call with the gossip updates as I’m drafting this. These kids have been trending on TikTok for two weeks, even though that performance was more than a decade ago. I think they sound so cute!  They bring tears to my eyes!  

And I have fewer hours this week with my usual easy client who asked “where I had been”. She’s mad at gift card boss for sending different people all the time. I told GCB that I can do split shifts sometimes but not all the time and that they wear on me. I explained gas prices, ability to make other commitments, etc. I don’t have a lot of hours this week, but I’m absolutely ok with that. I have been through a ton the last few months. 

Gym Free Session

I have known for a while now to it my gym offers a free training session. I went today to see what I could learn about how to do anything. 

I learned quite a bit, actually. I figured he would try to sell me something at the end, but didn’t know he’d be as pushy as he was. He was trying to get me to spend about $700 a month on a “training package”. lol, no. My membership is only $27 a month. 

He talked me down and down and down to a twice a month package for over $200 a month and I agreed to it thinking I can cancel later- he seriously wasn’t letting me go without signing up. So he told me to get my debit card. I think he thought I left it in a locker, but it was in my trunk. He said go get it and come back. I went out to I my car and literally left. 

Then, he started blowing up my phone from the gym number and his own cell phone. I blocked both phones. 

Pushy salesmen are the worst. It literally made me call up and cancel my membership there, because he was so extremely pushy with the selling. 

At least I learned a little bit about the machines, and later I came home and ChatGPT gave me this response. Basically, 3-5 times a week. 5-8 machines covering the entire body. 3-4 reps of 8-12.  Just do that and you’ll get toned. Follow with 30 minutes of cardio. 

 

Easter/Palm Sunday/Spring

Kevin went to a different park. He sent me his location, and I went there. There are about five parks all “interconnected”. I walked far enough to eventually reach where I was yesterday. I also got a money shot picture of this cardinal. 

Here’s the trail. It’s a beautiful tree tunnel. 

Being Easter Sunday, I earned time and a half for both of my shifts. My religious background is complicated. My parents were Eastern Orthodox, who celebrate Easter based on a different calendar. Then when I was in middle school, they enrolled me in a Christian school affiliated with a baptist church. So I essentially left the Orthodox Church when I was 13. About every four years, orthodox and regular Easter falls on the same day. About every four years, it falls a whole month later. Two years out of every four years, it’s a week later, and that’s the case this year. So while yall were celebrating Easter, my mother was going to church for palms. 

I like when it falls on the same day. A week later is tolerable, and a month later is obnoxious. Although, the last time it fell a whole month later,

I observed both lents and lost 10-12 pounds. 

Last but not least, my phone decided to make me photo collages of my boy Alex. I love it. 

 

Walking Steps

I was doing great with reaching 10,000 steps a day.  I also would add my favorite arm/upper chest/upper back machines to it. On Thursday, we went to the park, and the water fountains were disabled. I should have known to stop what I was doing, run to the gas station nearby and get a bottled water. But I persevered, and once I was done with my workout I then went to the convenience store for water. Then I went home and had another bottle of water. I started getting extremely exhausted and had to lay down. Then I was sick as hell and finally managed to get to the bathroom to puke my brains out. I googled “throwing up after workout, and the cause was just what I did- exercising dehydrated and then chugging water afterwards. Dr. Google recommended a rest day. 

I have no idea how to exercise properly. I just have to learn as I go or research it online. I have always been surrounded by people with sort of a negative attitude towards it, and it has rubbed off on me in such a way that I have always thought “I can’t” do it. In fact, I was afraid a rest day would make me give up completely, but it’s supposed to be part of the plan. I took Friday as a rest day and then yesterday went hard again, this time with warm up and cool off. I went to this park during my six hour break and got my 10,000 steps.  I carried water with me this time. Most people would say my puking on Thursday is a reason to give up completely, but I just would prefer to learn from it.  I’m not going to turn into a gym bro that looks down their noses at people, but I also don’t want people who don’t do anything to insinuate that because they either  can’t or “can’t” that I can’t either. No doctor has ever told me I can’t. So I’m going to, because it helps a problem in my muscles that I can’t describe to anyone. 

Another great thing about this park is the benches by the water and the tree thicket. There is no workout equipment there though. If I want to write in the park, I can come here. If I want to do arm day, I can go to the one near my house. 

 

Side Jobs

 I got a comment yesterday asking what my side jobs were all about. Well, I heard about one or two of these apps about 7 years ago on a subreddit called beer money. Then I heard about the rest as time went on. I did them as side jobd for a while, then when the pandemic hit, I did them as my main source of income because they paid so well. Keep in mind that they paid extraordinarily well during the pandemic, because no one wanted to go in and out of several stores. Then starting in 2022, the pay started decreasing steadily and by the end of 2022, I got a “real job”  which is fine, because that real job is where I met my husband. 

There used to be this mutual understanding among people in the forums for these, that we wouldn't be referring our friends and family, because that would mean fewer projects for us. I don't think that matters anymore in 2026. No one really depends on these anymore. The good paying gigs do come around every so often, but it's rare. 

The apps are Field Agent, Murchandiser (formerly EasyShift), Ivueit, Observa, GigWalk, and Premise. Premise has literally nothing anymore. Field Agent will only pay $2-$3, but I keep it for the free meals and free items +$3. Observe is average. Ivueit is for real estate investors and mainly wants pictures of landscaping. Merchandiser is the most intense. Merchandiser used to be EasyShift which paid you to go into stores and take pictures of certain aisles and displays. Field agent does the same thing. Like I said in the last post, though, you gotta keep it discreet. Some store managers and employees get nervous if they see someone taking pictures and might even ask you to leave. On Merchandiser, you might see very high paying liquor display audits. These are harder to do incognito, because liquor stores are smaller with more attentive staff, and they 100% will tell you not to take pictures. However, it's easier to be discreet at Specs. Specs is larger with less attentive employees. I generally do non liquor display jobs and liquor only if it's a specs location. 

Also on Merchandiser and Observa are jobs where you do actually go speak to a manager and have to ask about back stock on a certain item and check their handhelds. Also on Merchandiser, there are actual merchandising jobs where you build displays. There is a lot on there from frito lay. My husband asked yesterday why don't the frito lay reps do those. I don't know, but my guess is because they don't like going to family dollar or dollar general. 

Between March of 2020 and December of 2021, I did these in nine states: All over Texas of course, because that's where I live. Also Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Southern Illinois and a little bit in Memphis. Before I met my husband, I was on again off again with an old high school friend in Arizona who was a single dad of two. I went to see them often, trying tovaee how much I could make on the way there and back. Another time, I needed my birth certificate and literally did these all the way to Illinois where I was born, because they were not shipping it. In July of 2020, I did very high paying coca cola beverage audits all over Arkansas. I made a killing. I also went through Arkansas on the way to Illinois. Another time, I just did my own little personal tour of Oklahoma while doing these. Same with Louisiana. Other times, I would go out to do some nearby and keep taking the next one and the next one and the next one, only to have a super long drive home. My mother yelled at me often to plan my routes better. I would do that, and then when I got to my farthest point, they'd send me a route offer for even further that I couldn't refuse. 

My favorite memory is calling her and her sounding anxious asking “Where are you?” I said, “Missouri.”  she thought I meant the Houston suburb of Missouri City only 25 miles from her house. I had to admit “No. No I'm in the state. Of Missouri.”  

This whole experience was a big lesson in finding myself and the beginning of my healing from severe panic attacks that started happening when I finished college in 2014. Now that my husband is on them, he wants to do more of the ones where you have to speak to a manager, because he's used to doing that with the inventory service. It's only a side hustle now, but comes in handy often. 

Trainer

A few days ago, my husband Kevin also signed up for the merchandiser app. Today I took him to a kroger where he did a toilet paper and paper towel audit for $25.17. This is technically a mystery shop and the employees aren't supposed to know what we're doing. I have been doing these jobs since 2018, so I know how to look discreet. My husband, however, was standing in the aisle looking like this: 

 

I stood to his side with a cart to block the pharmacy’s view of him. He let me take the first few pictures to see how I do it discreetly. Then he finished the job himself. He only had to redo one picture due to the top of the aisle being cut off. He said I am a good trainer.  I know I am!!! I used to train new people when I worked at the childrens museum. 

The Perfect April Fools Joke

 The inventory service tends to have busy and slow spurts. Kevin has been pretty busy lately, and today is his first of five days off. All day yesterday, he kept anticipating the bosses to let him know about something for the next few days, but by bedtime, the answer was still nope. Then at 3:00 am, we were both up with the cats causing ruckus. I told him that the manager called last night, and that he does have to work today. His face was immediately 😨.  He totally believed me. Then I said, “April Fools!”    He burst out laughing. He is *really* looking forward to five days off. 

As for me, I have two days off and then doing split shifts Friday through Monday. I'm not letting that change. If she texts me with some emergency, I'm just leaving it unread. If I don't click on the text, she wont get a read receipt. Then I can say I was asleep. I really need these couple of days off. 

The bedridden client I'm caring for now wondered where I was all last weekend because I was working with the temporary clients. She favors me, and that's good. But, I'm trying not to get too attached to her, because I don't think she has much time. She's not on hospice, but it seems like she will be soon. 

Yesterday, she was crying to me, because she was in the hospital when her husband died at home, and she wasn't there to hold him and tell him she loved him. That almost broke me, because I am absolutely dreading losing my husband. He's so much older than me that it's more likely. I reassured her that he did know she loved him. And that I was sorry. Then she started bitching about gas prices, but she doesn't go anywhere. So that was better. 

Then, she got a Facebook message from a scammer that had copied the profile and likeness of her granddaughter, asking her for $500 to fix her car. My client was asking me what “Zelle” was, and I was sus immediately. I despise helping elderly people with stuff on phones. And the messages from her granddaughter kept coming super impatiently. “Have u sent it yet?”  “I really need it grandma, can you hurry?” and so on. I asked if this was like her. She said no. I said it sounded like a scam. She said it was her granddaughter’s Facebook profile. I looked at the profile and the thread and her friends list. And it was clearly a scammer. 

Even so, she doesn't know how to use zelle or pay pal anyway and I wasn't about to show her. I pretended I didn't know either. 

She didn't completely understand and still thinks her granddaughter needs money. I'm exhausted. She wasn't scammed, so that's good, and maybe eventually her granddaughter will get $500 out of this. 

Exercise is Amazing

I’ve been pushing myself more than usual to exercise. This is mainly because the weight loss pill I was prescribed gives me a burst of energy lasting about 6-7 hours every morning. Unfortunately, a crash of tiredness then follows, but a caffeinated drink reverses that. The burst of energy feels nice, and the point is to use it to exercise. 

I’ve also usually described my anxiety as a certain feeling in my arms, legs, upper chest, and upper back. The feeling itself is not anxiety, but causes anxiety, I think. The feeling makes it super difficult to initiate movement. I have to really force myself to get out of a chair or out of the car, and so on. It makes me feel suspended, like my arms and legs are being held back. I think this has contributed to weight gain for me. This happened after I finished college. This muscle feeling happened, and the extreme difficulty in initiating movement caused gradual weight gain. Also when you have anxiety, everything is an emergency, and I personally kind of eat like it’s an emergency. If that makes me sound “fat phobic,” then please try to understand about anxiety and the fight, flight or freeze responses. 

Ever since I started taking phentermine, I have not had this constant emergency feeling surrounding food. I can eat just enough and be good for several hours, not even feeling hungry or anticipating what I should eat next.

Before the phentermine, I was only walking about 1,000-3,000 steps daily, even though my goal is 10,000. Last week, I hit my goal of 10,000 five out of the seven days. This week, I hit it all three days in a row now. 

Trust me, I am SORE AS HELL.  But the creepy Crawley muscle feeling that I've had since finishing college actually is cured by that soreness. It's hard to explain. The soreness is preferable. 

This morning, I went to the gym at 5:00 am and did 5500 steps on the treadmill. Then I went to the park at 7:00 am and did about 3,000 more as well as got on this machine. You push those with your arms, and it works your upper arms and upper abdomen. I completed my 10,000 steps goal by doing some side jobs (taking pictures in stores) and parking far away from the doors. I think this is a great way to heal the stuff I've been through the last 12 years. I definitely have “the high”  And the sore. 

 

10 Unfinished Projects

 I feel like the poster child for late diagnosed ADHD right now, because I feel like I’ve started ten things and haven’t finished any of them. 

The book I’m writing called The Child Advocate. I did write out a few scenes in the spiral notebook I talked about earlier. That thing is too heavy to work on every day. Every day would be ideal, though. 

All the reading and research on anti-ABA online, which now includes  This culmination

The two books I’m reading on the same subject.  The book by the author “Julie Roberts” who I can’t find info on because of her similar name to Julia Roberts is all full of scientific studies. I simply can’t remember much of what I learned in methods in research class at University of Houston.  I’d need a brief refresher, probably something on YouTube.  I texted my daughter asking her when she takes it at TXST.  She doesn’t know.  Probably in her junior year, as it’s a 300 level class. 

Working as a caregiver and trying to set at least some boundaries with musical schedule boss (gift card boss).  She does sort of a professional version of love bombing.  It’s not real love bombing, it’s work appropriate.  She says I’m amazing, I’m a rockstar, I’m this and that  and maybe I am 🤷🏻‍♀️.  I’m also fundamentally exhausted, and musical schedules affects my mental health.  

I am trying to do more side jobs on the merchandiser and field agent apps, and now my husband wants to try them.  We are planning to go do some together, but haven’t gotten a chance.  This weekend, the field agent app had a lot of freebies.  I got two free subway sandwiches plus $3 each, free chipotle (I got vegetarian tacos) plus I think $3 or $5, and another free stick of deodorant plus $5.  We will never run out of deodorant at this rate.

Writing my own recipe cards based on stuff I find in cookbooks that I like and want to try. 

I bought an old art history textbook from half price books and am trying to cut out pictures of art and make collages with decoupage.  I worked a little on a Byzantine inspired one for my mom for Mother’s Day.

Reading the handful of books I have on writing. 

Purpose nigh to walk 10,000 steps daily  

The fun I’m having with ChatGPT helping me come up with elements to the other book in my head- the one with the couple based on me and my first love, Matthew. I’m actually creating story lines for all seven kids based on the kids of some influencers I semi-follow. 

Thinking of Matt brought a memory to mind. When we first started dating, we worked together at a supermarket. He used to say he wanted to work his way up with that and eventually become a store manager. This was very much discouraged. He was basically yelled at that there was no working his way up in the supermarket business and that it was a dead end job to even be a store manager. He was pressured to go to college and get a degree instead.  We all were. Well, about a year ago, my inventory coworker, who used to be a grocery store manager told me that she was making $120-$130,000 a year. I was floored. She was making that in the past, not just now days. When I expressed my disbelief, her husband told me that store managers actually do make that much. What?  I literally said, “Why then, when you are a kid working in a store, they tell you that working your way up there is a dead end?  They both said, “I don’t know.” And “It’s not a dead end.” 

One more thing to add to the list of “things they were wrong about.”  RIP Matt

AI Family Portraits

It dawned on me today that there would be no way possible to get my three cats posing together in a nice grassy meadow for a family portrait. So I had ChatGPT do it. It came out perfect, except for the fact that Alex has less white on his paws. He wears ankle socks, not crews. 

Then I thought- you know what else would be impossible?  Getting my family together to pose for a family portrait. It’s not just because we all live in different cities and states, it’s also because many of us/them don’t even speak to each other. I tried to get ChatGPT to do one family portrait of me with my paternal first cousins, and one with me and my maternal first cousins. 

This one is what came up when I entered pictures of me and my cousins on my father’s side. That’s supposed to be me on the far left. My only female cousin on that side has aged significantly since looking like this, and she looks exactly like our mutual grandmother now.  The four men all look spot on. 

My mother’s side was a little more complicated, because there were 16 of us.  I’m supposed to be the one in the black shirt in the front row. It looks nothing like me. This was way more complicated to make, because I didn’t have pictures of everyone. For the ones I didn’t have pictures of, I gave ChatGPT pictures of their siblings that they resembled most. That’s why there are a couple in here that look like twins. In my opinion, only half of the people here look like the actual people, but this one was just hard to do. Maybe when I have the mental energy and headspace to do so, I’ll submit more changes to ChatGPT to get a more realistic family portrait. 

I didn’t like being an only child, and I gravitated to my 19 cousins as much as possible. Yes there are 20 total, but one was an adoptee that we didn’t find out about until about 2017.  Two have passed away, two have gone no contact with everyone (it’s not known if these two are alive or dead but I presume them alive), and there are three that won’t speak to me and are among my biggest haters now. But that’s ok. Haters are gonna hate!  

I’m not sure if the children of one’s first cousins are considered your second cousins or your first cousins once removed, but in total, I have 29 of those now. Most of those 29 are adults with their own families, and I do not have a count on how many grandchildren of my first cousins there are. (Great grandchildren of my parents siblings). On my father’s side, it’s 8.  On my mom’s side, who knows. It’s 24-25 that I know of. 

When I’m old, with grandkids and great grandkids, I hope we can take family portraits like this in real time, instead of having AI do it because we are all so distant in so many ways. In the 1980’s in Chicago, my holidays looked like this. 

If my grandparents saw these fake images with everyone hugging and smiling, they’d be proud if they thought it would be real. Realistically, they couldn’t possibly proud at the sheer number of generational curses that have been perpetrated. I’m confident that third generation, the one I don’t have a count for, will “break those curses” and do way better than we did. In fact, I believe the young people in general are already doing way better than we ever did, in most families. 

The kids are alright. 

I’m the Proudest Mom

Today my daughter Anna volunteered again with the animal sciences club at Texas State U. Then, she went to a No Kings protest and posed with a drag queen. 

I’m so proud of my kid. I never tried to live vicariously through her, and I never pushed things on her that would make her “have things I didn’t have”.  But here she is, living her best life at 18. 

Tuesday Tidbits

Thanks for the advice you two, but I kind of despise getting out my laptop. I have no idea why!  I was able to upload photos by simply opening safari on my phone instead of chrome. Here’s my friend DP showing how her broom stood up on the spring equinox. I also heard that eggs stand upright on the two equinoxes. I didn’t know these things had any sort of validity. 

I’m getting a lot better at going to the park intentionally to get my steps in while speed walking  while there, I saw this interesting flower.  It’s too big to be a dandelion. 

While walking, I’m listening to an audiobook that was a free download (with membership) on Audible called Writing with Impact: Crafting Compelling Arguments by Barrett Williams. It’s read by an AI voice, but the voice is tolerable and doesn’t sound too robotic. 

Last but not least, we have a nest outside, and here’s a short clip of our baby Jordan really thinking he can get those birdies. He’s really a joy.  He gets along better with Mitchell. Alex is old and just ignores the two of them. If they bother him, he hisses as if to say “Get off my lawn!”