This job is so interesting. It’s a group home for people with intellectual disabilities. The ladies in the one I work at are sort of elderly (but not that old). They are all older than me, and so are the three other staff members.
The house supervisor, let’s call her drunk text boss. (See below). I went from gift card boss in Houston to drunk text boss haha. She takes the job very seriously. I noticed that in the beginning, she was calling the residents of the group home “the girls”. I decided on my own not to do that. I call them “the ladies”. Girls are children, to me anyway. I didn’t tell drunk text boss that I felt that way, I just started doing it. The past couple days, she’s called them “the ladies” around me too. I guess she “caught on” and “figured” that I thought girls meant children. I don’t mind what she does either way. But it was nice to see her adapt to my lingo like that. She works 8-4. The 4-midnight shift and the other overnights that I’m off are alternated between two other staff ladies that have been there decades.
My schedule is as follows: Saturday evening to Sunday morning 8pm-8am. Sunday evening to Monday morning 8pm to 8 am. Tuesday morning midnight to 8, and Friday morning midnight to 8 (driving to work at 11pm Monday evening and Thursday evening.)
Some group homes do 8 or 12 hour shifts, and some do live in shifts, where staff members stay 2-5 days at a time and sleep on the job. This group home has a staff bedroom, and they did it like this until honestly just a couple months ago. The other two staff ladies that have been there decades aren’t used to it at all. They were getting overtime to sleep on the job, pretty much. I would have liked that arrangement too. But this new company took over a couple months ago, and they aren’t allowing staff to sleep on the clock. That also means that you can’t work the ENTIRE weekend from Friday till Monday or whatever else for several days. This company is only allowing us to work 16 hours at a time max, if that. I don’t blame them, I would run it the same way if possible. However, if the clients who live in the group home do not need constant care and sleep well through the night, then sleeping staff might make sense, especially if they get paid less on the graveyard shift.
We have to prove that we aren’t sleeping on the job by logging into the desk computer in the office and doing bed checks every hour. When I went to training, bed checks consisted of basically looking to see if they’re breathing and/or had an accident. I always check for breathing. 32 years of working with kids and elderly and one child of my own, I look for breathing automatically. The ladies that live in this home never have accidents. I do not check for accidents. That would be an invasion of privacy imo, for them specifically. I just assume they didn’t if I walk into the rooms and it smells ok. They’d wake up if they did have accidents anyway.
We cannot cheat on logging bed checks, because the computer logs what time you enter it. This means if you do sleep on the job, you better be awake at least every hour to log the bed checks. Drunk text boss is on board with this and like “yeah we have to do what they say” but the other two staff ladies are outraged. It’s honestly funny and sad at the same time to listen to them become so appalled at having to do their job, and stay awake on the job lol. And these are women basically old enough to be my mother. I don’t express out loud how funny and sad I find them. I just smile and nod, because I want them on my good side.
One of them actually said it was abuse to check on them every hour. It’s not abuse. You just don’t want to do it.
To be honest, I could never sleep at night knowing I was getting paid to be in charge of five vulnerable people. I would be scared to death and doing their job checks anyway. Especially since like I said, people with intellectual disabilities have a slightly lower life expectancy, and these ladies are basically there. I would NOT be able to sleep at ALL.
I do not want to mention to these to coworkers that live in caregiving jobs are all over indeed. Not a lot of people want them, because most people have a place to live. I used to like them when I was living with my parents and my daughter spent the weekend with her father. It was the perfect way to get away for a weekend and get paid for it. And I was allowed to sleep, but didn’t except for just an hour or two at a time! They could go to any other place and do them and probably get paid better than here. I just don’t want to say it out loud, because in the new person. And they don’t seem to be holding the changes against me, which is REALLY NICE. They’re mad at the company and know it’s not “my fault”.
I’m not sleeping very well at all, because on my shifts I have my alarm set every hour on the hour. When it goes off I do the checks. I do some household chores that don’t take long, then just hang out on the couch doing the bed checks when the alarm goes off. When 6:30 am comes around, one of the ladies checks her sugar. I start giving meds after that. The resident ladies actually make breakfast themselves. They have rotating jobs of cook and dishwasher, although this morning I was the dishwasher. Yes I’m dozing off in those interim hours between bed checks a couple times a night. Because of that and my daily 6 am Red Bull so I can focus on meds, I don’t come home and sleep immediately. I’m really just sleeping on my nights off. It has to change.
One way I’m able to sleep during the day is if I take my anxiety meds, gabapentin. But I’m trying to only do this once a week. Gabapentin is hard to get, and I need to have a stash of it in case my anxiety gets really bad. Acquiring it is a delicate balance of finding a doctor who will prescribe it, keep prescribing it, and a pharmacy who will fill it. So far so good. I can get another three months worth on 8/21, and there will be one more refill which I can probably get November 21. Being the only thing that works for my severe anxiety though it needs to last. I can’t just be like “I’m going to pop some gabapentin just because I want to sleep today!” If I keep that shit up, it will disappear.
I really really miss Kevin. He went to Louisiana from Wednesday through Monday with the job. He’s coming here for good once the Houston crew hires more people, and I have had a hunch that the Houston manager has been running them off. Well Kevin told me that a guy is supposed to start tomorrow, and on the car ride back from Louisiana today, the guy called the manager’s phone twice to ask about two different things. When the second call happened, the manager’s wife yelled “Tell him to stop calling.” I asked Kevin, was the guy on the line in order to hear her say that? Kevin didn’t know. It was funny- but at the same time, it’s not funny.
Just a disclaimer, I know I’m supposed to be more of an independent woman and not miss my husband so much. I’m ready for the criticism that might come with saying I miss him. I’m ready for the flogging. I had my own place at least twice before I met Kevin. But now, being alone in an apartment and knowing he exists just makes me miss him. It was easier to be alone when I didn’t know who he was.
I worked last night from midnight until 8:00 am. I shadowed the lady who everyone thought would be pissed that I was starting, thus taking away overtime hours from her. I was ready to work alone, but they just gave me an extra shadowing shift so she wouldn’t be that upset. I was relieved to get to know her and see that she’s not “going to kick my ass” At all. She’s very cool. She talks to me in Spanglish. She goes back and forth from English and Spanish, even in the same sentence. I had coworkers 25 years ago that did that. I appreciate it when people do that, because my Spanish is terrible. I know all the words, but cannot put them together to communicate with someone. If I turn on a Spanish radio station or tv channel, I know what each word means but have no idea what they’re talking about. “Spanglish” helps get over that.
The shift was basically watching the ladies sleep for about 6 and a half hours, then giving everyone their morning medications starting at 6:30. There are five ladies that take about 12-15 medications each, so it’s intense. I knew I was going to do it by myself with her watching this time (as opposed to watching someone else doing it), so I drank a Red Bull at 6:00 am. I wanted a lot of focus, because that is a lot of prescription medication. This caused me to not be able to sleep all day. Finally I fell asleep at 4:00 pm and woke up again at midnight. I’m off now, but am working Saturday 8pm-Sunday 8am and then Sunday evening 8pm until Monday morning 8 am. I packed a little backpack with notebooks, pens and books to read. It will be great to get back into the habit of reading and writing.
Kevin is coming today with the furniture! Yay! At least the bed! Thank God!!
Kevin was supposed to have a new coworker on the Houston crew yesterday, but she never showed up. I believe this is person number 7 that “didn’t show up”. It’s a little clear at this point that once they talk to the Houston manager, they’re being told something unsavory, because it’s the austin manager that’s hiring them. It also seems like some of their jobs have been delegated to crews in other cities.
Having a spouse that works for your previous employer is bewildering, because you want to ask him how his day was, but you don’t want to hear about that place at the same time. I was thinking back to my first husband, Anna’s father. When we were starting to have problems, he’d get home and I would ask how his day was. He found that annoying. Once he said to me, “You just asked me yesterday how my day was.” Ok? And today is a new day!!! It’s almost tempting to wish Kevin was like that, but I would not want the communication problems that come with that dynamic, either. I’m also mentally invested in the Houston crew hiring people, because when it happens, my husband can come and be with me here.
There is another more complicated denim seam kitchen or bathroom rug technique where you use a zigzag stitch. Maybe I’ll do that one next time.
Tomorrow will be 10 days. I’m exhausted. I finished the module training for my new job at the main office in Austin. Then this week, I went to the actual group homes in a town about 30 minutes west of here. I shadowed for two days. I met all of the residents, but there are two homes I haven’t been to yet. I also met most of the staff. Tomorrow night, I’m shadowing the overnight staff. Then, I will be on my own at night on the graveyard shift.
Kevin is back in Waller and still working on the Houston crew “until they hire someone”. The thing is, they’ve hired at least six people so far “who didn’t show up”. To me, that’s a lot. Apparently, the company’s headquarters here in the Austin area is doing the hiring. Then they give the people’s information to the manager of the Houston office. The manager is claiming he’s speaking to people one time and then they don’t show up. It makes me wonder what he’s saying to them. I am suspicious that he’s trying to sabotage our move here by keeping Kevin there. Kevin disagrees adamantly, so I don’t push the idea. I keep reminding Kevin that “we already signed a lease” until October of 2027. We would not have if they hadn’t given him the transfer. Lord have mercy. I don’t think six whole people “didn’t show up” for no reason. Kevin just talks smack when I bring it up. He said, “If he doesn’t want it to be just him and his wife” then he needs to retain people. And that he’ll be here “by September 1”.
It’s very hard to leave a job and then have a spouse continue to work there because I hear about it still. And I can’t not hear about it because I can’t not ask Kevin how his day was. It’s not my place of employment anymore, so I should let it go.
I also kind of want Kevin here with me. I want my furniture too. I am not going to buy an air mattress, because I have cats and their claws put holes in them. My back hurts from sleeping on the memory foam thing only. Good thing I have a bath tub now!
I binge watched all 8 episodes of the Netflix adaptation of Little House on the Prairie. I loved it! I did not like the CGI wolves! Someone online said it would have been better with trained Malamutes, and I agree! Aside from that scene, though, it was awesome! Yes there was too much of an age difference between Laura and Mary with Carrie. But there was the same issue with the Handmaid’s Tale vs The Testaments. But I guess with adaptations, that happens.
There are a couple of disappointments with my new job. First of all, I said I was glad that I would be working with adults who have developmental disabilities instead of elderly, because elderly people die on you too often. The home I shadowed most in is full of ladies between about 60-72 years old. Sadly, with developmental disabilities, that’s roughly the life expectancy, and the woman I shadowed said there was another lady who passed away less than a year ago. The other house was also ladies about 45-55 or so. I just let it go. I also believe we end up where we end up for a reason. They were willing to hire me even though I didn’t have an address yet, and that’s huge. Speaking of the Netflix Little House- one of the ladies who lives in the group home was asking me what similarities the Netflix adaptation had to Michael Landon’s Little House. She asked, “What characters are in it? Pa and Ma?” I said, “Yes, and also Mary and Laura”. She asked, “What about Carrie?” I gave the spoiler, “Carrie is born in episode 6.” She said, “So Grace wasn’t born yet?” I said, “No, Grace isn’t born yet.” She then asked, “What about Albert?” I explained, “No there is no Albert in this one, because this one more closely follows the book, and Albert wasn’t in the book or in real life. He was made up for the old show.” She looked kind of shocked. I actually think she was disappointed to find out Albert didn’t really exist. That expression passed though, and after she asked if Nellie Olson was in it, I explained, “Nellie Olson isn’t in it because they’re not in Walnut Grove yet. The Netflix show shows them living in Kansas, Kansas not working out, and them deciding to go to Walnut Grove at the very end. So Nellie will probably be in next season.” She was so satisfied with that she forgot about Albert being fictional.
I got a new audible credit, and with it I bought another book about writing. In it, there’s a chapter on tropes. The author asks, “What are some tropes that don’t seem realistic to you?” I thought to myself- the Woke Caroline Ingalls trope from this Netflix Little House. Caroline wasn’t woke!
Another thing about my new job is that according to the ladies I shadowed, some of the other staff is going to be disappointed that I’m there and “taking their overtime away”. I’m a little worried they’ll take their disappointment out on me personally, but I’ve already met one of the ones who’s supposedly “so pissed” and she was very cordial to me. We’ll see how she is when I shadow her tomorrow night. Overtime is never permanent.
One of my biggest regrets of the past year was allowing the Houston manager’s wife at my husband’s job to run me off. I’m never allowing that to happen again. If I could go back and undo that one thing, I would. So I’m definitely not going to let it happen again. If someone is upset that they no longer get overtime, then they need to learn that overtime comes and goes. I’ve had to learn it, so will they. And the lady that trained me? She is having surgery on August 4. Overtime is coming back. I’m digging my heels in with bitches.
Yesterday after work, I went to HEB. I knew this little fact about the city of Austin, but I forgot- the grocery stores here don’t give plastic bags. You either have to BYOB, buy canvas ones at the checkout, or throw individual items into your car. I bought five and stored them in my pantry. I told my daughter this last night, and now she wants to make reusable bags for herself and for me.
I slept about 12 hours last night, which felt great. Some of the training modules at work looked like the print was shrinking about 2-3:00 pm. It wasn’t. It was just me.
A lot of the training modules are common sense, but there are a lot of them that are teaching things I’ve never learned before. For instance, I know what discrimination is, I know about how to prevent falls and what to do in case of falls. I know about seizures, I know about choking and safe swallowing, etc. But this is a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. It’s not something I’ve done before. I have worked with elderly people in their homes, and I have worked with kids. Not this, although I have cared for younger adults in their homes who had developmental disabilities through the other company I worked for in the past.
This is something I didn’t know- back in 2014, there was an entire federal law passed to ensure that people with disabilities aren’t kept out of the community like they have been in the past. I don’t remember the exact name of it, but it’s basically saying they have the right to go places and do things. You might often hear older people say things like, “Everyone is disabled now!” And act like it’s a new epidemic or phenomenon. I’ve heard my mom say that before. But this isn’t the case- it’s just that when they were younger, disabled people were kept away from society in institutions, and they weren’t aware of them.
Another training module was on “PBS” or “Positive Behavior Support” and it was a handful of terms from ABA. Some might remember this, but in the beginning of this year I spent 8 days as a trainee in an ABA facility, and I found it extremely weird, counterintuitive, and unethical. This was a center that did ABA on very young children from M-F 8-5. Not a group home for adults like this. I did some googling for “Is PBS ABA?” And discovered that it’s just sort of-semi based on it? But it’s nowhere near as controlling or arbitrary. There are also several training modules on the importance of these individuals having choices and autonomy, so it can’t possibly be the ABA I remember from that horrific 8 days in February.
I also found out that there is an actual ABA company called Positive Behavior Support- and it’s the worst of the worst. But it’s not the “method” of PBS. It’s the actual company name, and they do ABA. 🤦🏻♀️ There is a lot of information to dig through. If anyone wants to educate me in the comments, please do.
All in all, I am thankful for the opportunity to work full time with the same people in the same place every day. Trying to learn the routines of different people constantly was stressful. This is also going to be the night shift, midnight until 8:00 am. So what my shift will look like is probably 3/4 watching people sleep/oversee if they get up at night and 1/4 morning routines. I can definitely deal with that.
Hopefully I can get more housework done today!
I’m totally exhausted. I do not have my bed here in the new apartment, so I’m sleeping on a mat with my blanket. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Never have I ever moved to a new city one day and started a new job the next.
When we moved from Chicago to Houston in 1993, it was about three months later that school started. When I moved from Phoenix to Houston in 2002, it was about ten days later that I found a job.
Two things about this job that stood out- we actually aren’t allowed to wear scrubs! Wow! Usually you have to wear scrubs. They do not want the residents feeling a stigma because of us wearing scrubs. When I asked what to wear, they simply said “Whatever is comfortable.” This morning, I actually thought about wearing scrubs but didn’t. I thought it would make me look like an ass-kisser. Turns out, it would have made me look like a stigmatizer 🤷🏻♀️
If you date a coworker, you must report it to HR! Hahaha well they don’t have to worry about that with me since I already married my supervisor from a previous job. 🤦🏻♀️ I texted Kevin as soon as I could about the “report it to HR” rule. We would have both gotten fired haha.
Orientation and training is the whole week. I am so exhausted.
JJ is loving the new place, but he doesn’t seem to like being an only child. He does like the perpendicular mirrors in the bathroom that make it look like TWO other cats are staring back at him. You should have seen the shenanigans he did when he discovered this.
I really hope I get good rest tonight!
I am moved in to the new place, but not Kevin! He has to work on the Houston crew a little while longer, whereas my new job starts TOMORROW!
It was impossible to move over the weekend with Saturday being the Fourth of July and Sunday being Sunday.
Yesterday was Sunday the fifth, and not only did all of our old neighbors around my in-laws’ property decide to set off fireworks a day late, but both my mother and my mother in law decided that the day before I leave was the perfect day for both of them to express disapproval and disappointment at our decision to move to Austin. Each of them thought the other one was moving in with us! Why!
I decided to hold off on freaking out about their disapproval until after I signed the lease so I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Then Kevin and I moved all my stuff into the apartment, he left for Houston area, and I went to Walmart.
All of our appliances are black so I picked out black items for the apartment- bathroom decor, a dish rack, a new frying pan, kitchen towels and potholders etc. Then got all the toilet paper and paper towels. A broom and swiffer starter set, the Clorox toilet wand set, paper plates and bowls, etc. I got to the check out and the chip reader isn’t working. I’ve had this problem at Walmart before- the cashiers deal with it by swiping the card 3-4 times and then because of that, the card gets declined. You end up having to call the bank to say that’s really you and Walmart is being shady like that.
The last time this happened, I was getting an oil change so I was stranded and had to walk to a bank to make a withdrawal with my identification and clear up the debit card. This time, I just had to be disappointed that I spent 2-4 hours in Walmart on moving day and got all this cute semi matching black stuff. I didn’t get any of it. I ended up going to Costco. No cute black decor, and I had to get massive quantities of stuff like toilet paper and paper plates and ziplock bags. Sometimes I like getting massive quantities, but not after that Walmart fiasco. I am seriously never going to Walmart again.
I really wish I could have had the weekend here to set up and shop more, but nope. I have to do onboarding the rest of the week from pretty much 9-5 and then start on the graveyard shift the following week.
In between Walmart and Costco, I called Kevin and cried my ass off about both of our moms not liking that we moved here. He honest to God seriously doesn’t care what they think. I do! I told him, you know what, when we got engaged and then married and NO ONE I KNOW had any problem with it, even though he’s more than a decade older than me and even though he’s was my supervisor- and even though no one has EVER been ok with the idea of me with any man at all, ever- still no one had anything to say about it. People just let me do what I wanted and that was CRAZY. At the time I asked my mother why so many people were ok with me getting married like this and she said something to the effect of, because I was older now and had “all these life experiences” (never mind of course that all those life experiences were also things most of them were against). Since then, I just assumed that a perk of being this old was that I got to do what I wanted. I’ve been wanting to move to Austin basically since 2020 or so. I just couldn’t because of my daughter. But now my daughter is in college in San Marcos and has also decided that she wants to settle here in the Austin area or the Texas hill country. There are other reasons too, which I’ll get into, but as soon as I brought it up to Kevin, he thought it was an AMAZING idea.
He has been more pumped about it lately than me. I was even starting to get cold feet about it, but he’s excited for it. I’m trying to get as pumped about it as he is. Which is weird because it was my idea!
It was a setback to disappointment both moms. Also, it must be said that two women in their 80’s should have learned to deal with change by now.
I invited my mother up for my birthday on July 17th. She then actually mistook my birthday for the 10th and said she had plans. I asked her if she forgot when my birthday was, and she got more mad. Then I asked her who her hot date was with, and it was Armageddon. I thought, might as well, she’s already mad I’m moving.
Two things about living in a blue city-
I only have one cat with me right now. The leasing agent referred to Jordan with they/them pronouns. I actually am not sure if she didn’t know that only one of the cats is with me or if she was doing that because she wasn’t sure the sex of the cat.
He was in a carrier big enough for only one cat. I’m still not sure. 🤔
I’m ready to go right Meow. I’m actually thinking of calling the leasing office and paying from my own checking account for two more days of “pro-rated July”. It would just be nice to have the weekend to be doing all of that. I also do not want Kevin to think I’m trying to get rid of him. I’m not. I just want to get moving activities out of the way. He is off this weekend and can hang with me over the weekend regardless. He’s staying until his Houston manager hires new people. I have a feeling he will not hire anyone just to make it hard on Kevin to transfer.
I worked Sunday with a new client. When GCboss asked me to work with a brand new client, I cringed all the way to McCringey town. I’m leaving! Why! But it was ok. The lady suffered from sundowning, which made it a challenge. During her sundowning episode, I asked her if she needed to use the restroom. She told me, “Feel free to use the restroom any time you’d like!” “Thank you, I will,” I replied. “But what about you, do you need to go?”
“What business is it of yours?” She asked. This is common with dementia and sundowning. I gently reminded her that I would help her in the restroom. She cursed me out. That’s fine. Once it was time to leave, though, she didn’t want me to. She said, “Thanks for a lovely visit.” After that, I decided if GCboss asked me to work with anyone else except for the “usual” 89 year old that I was scheduled with M-F, then I would not. Friday is my last day.
Unfortunately though, Monday she had to enter the hospital. I went to Starbucks by her house, had a coconut Ube Macchiato and worked on my spiral notebook. She texted me asking me to come early because she wasn’t well. Her nurse was there when I arrived. She took a nap after the nurse left and then wanted me to call EMS to take her to the hospital. The nurse also said to go. So I’m just staying home now in the event she gets home before Friday morning. I am not responding to GCboss unless it’s about her. I think she’ll be ok, but honestly I’m not sure.
I’m going to work in a group home, and this is what this 89 year old told me (mostly because she’s upset I’m leaving.). She said, “Now listen! You Be careful of those mental cases! You be careful of those mentals!” I had to stop and laugh because of her Boston accent and the way it sounded. Then she caught herself and said, “I know! I’m also mental!” I reminded her that I, too, am “mental”. It’s fine. Who isn’t?
I will be working M-F from midnight to 8 am, which likely means Sunday night to Thursday night. I have a feeling I’ll end up working with Kevin again, but we’ll see. It’s more of a priority for him to transfer. But working at a facility is going to be wayyyyyyy less stressful than going to different peoples houses all the time.
0.8 miles from my new place is also a quilt shop with lots of classses. When Kevin and I checked it out, they were holding a long arm class. Long arm machines intimidate me. If I ever did piecework that needed to be quilted I’d find someone to do that to them.
And as much as I have been to Austin in the last five or six years for retail audits, I must say that the slight cultural differences between Houston and Austin are more apparent to me now. It’s only the closest major city to me now, but it still seems like a whole new culture. I’m going to have to adopt some “when in Rome” mentality, but not sure what for yet.
