Quit Sugar Group

 I recently joined a facebook group called “Quit Sugar”. A few weeks/couple months ago when I realized how well I’ve done with weight loss, I started to eat crappy foods a little bit again. But now I’m back on the bandwagon. I have been ever since we got to Corpus Christi on Monday. I joined this group, but I have not posted or commented. I’m just reading. 

There was a post about the sugar found in fruit and the carbs in whole grains. Basically, the post claimed that it’s harder/not as possible as you may think to give up sugar because it’s in fruit and even whole grains will “become sugar” once they enter your blood. 

A woman commented ready to throw hands. She insisted that this post was wrong. More people commented, and an all out debate ensued. It was basically 50/50. Half of the people claimed that the sugar found in sweets and soda was the poison and that fruit and whole wheat was fine. Half of them believed the original post. 

I was always raised to believe that it didn’t matter what you did, everything was unhealthy. So you might as well eat as much crap as you want. My dad was diabetic, and I was still taught this. My dad lived to 77 years old, and it wasn’t even diabetes that took him out- he had shingles in the eyes that became meningitis, and that is what killed him. But it wasn’t just my parents and extended family that had these attitudes about food, I learned them in school as well. It’s also the case that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to massively deconstruct many things I was raised to believe- not just about religion, but about education, jobs and career, self perception, relationships, food, politics, and the larger world around me. I believe that people hyped the idea that fruit/whole grains are just as bad as the sugar found in cookies and candy because they either want to sabotage the health of the people they are teaching or because they don’t know how to stop self sabotaging. Or both. 

I believe that the lady in the comments ready to throw hands was right. Those things are healthy and not “the same” as candy once they hit your blood. I remember talking about the smoothies I make at home with someone who is very overweight. I make the smoothies with frozen or fresh bananas, wild blueberries, Greek yogurt, almond butter, and the milk I use is either skim milk from cow or some non dairy milk like almond or oat milk. Sometimes I have frozen raspberries and other things in there too.  The person said that there was so much sugar in what I was putting in there that I might as well get a pint of blue bell. They were wrong. I’ve been enjoying these smoothies for over a year in lieu of ice cream, and have lost some 30 pounds. This just goes to show that that attitude is very pervasive out there. 

In this facebook group, they’re trying to calm the debate by saying everyone’s quitting sugar journey is their own. And if someone wants to make cookies by using maple syrup instead of sugar in order to avoid sugar, then that’s their journey. People were encouraged to test their own glucose levels with a monitor. I was thinking of doing the same. I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes two years ago, when my A1C was about 6 point something. Last time I had bloodwork, it came down to 5.8, which is the lowest decimal point to be considered prediabetes. So I lowered it, but still pre diabetic, “Technically”. I have never pricked my own finger to test my glucose levels, but I might start. The first step would be, after I’ve quit sugar successfully for a while, to pay the pharmacy to check my A1C again. The only problem with that is the level of anxiety right before the prick. It’s the only way to see “what’s true for me” as opposed to just believing people when they say my smoothies are the same as a pint of bluebell. 

Wolf Sanctuary Day 🐺🫶🏼

Kevin, Anna, and I really enjoyed taking a tour of the St. Francis wolf sanctuary in Navasota, Texas. This was our last outing before Anna leaves for Texas State University. She just left on a road trip with her friends, and Kevin and I just left for a work trip to Corpus Christi. Her dad and stepmom are moving her in this Friday, and I’m driving out there this Saturday. 

Anna’s major is going to be wildlife biology, and ever since she started showing interest in that, I’ve had my eye on animal sanctuaries that offer cheap educational tours. About a year ago, I took her to Texas Gaushala here in Waller that allows you to cuddle with Brahman cows. In February of 2023, I took her to an alligator sanctuary in Beaumont. But this was the one I personally looked forward to the most.  I’m not the biggest fan of gators, wasn’t interested in cuddling cows, but I do like wolves. 

This tour started with some basic education about wolves and wolf dogs. There were 11 animals in residence at this sanctuary, and all of them came from people who ended up with them as pets and could no longer care for them. Now, I always have said that I feel like I’m Scientifically illiterate. However, even I know that there’s a difference between a wolf and a dog, and that you shouldn’t have a pet wolf. 

We shopping the gift shop before the tour, and got a few things including a Christmas ornament and a t shirt. 

Anna was in her element. The tour guide (pictured here) briefly described some phenotype differences between wolves and wolf dogs, and as we passed by each resident he had us answer if we thought which it was. Anna got it right every time. When she was about 9-10 years old, she went through a phase where she drew her own fantasy wolf and dog characters, and she even made elaborate family trees for them. I still have some of her drawings, and it wasn’t surprising that she could get it right with just having been briefed on the differences. 

Someone asked our tour guide if he was a volunteer or paid. He said he was retired from the oil and gas industry, and was going to be paid staff, but it wouldn’t have worked out with how many hours they wanted and his retirement income. So he’s a volunteer. As we walked out, Anna proudly exclaimed that she’s going to do something like that someday. I told her, “I know you are, that’s why I brought you here.”  I have more to expand on that, but I will later. For now here’s some pictures. 

 

Old Memories and Fixed Car 🔋 🦙 🚗

 

I spent yesterday with debilitating anxiety and took three gabapentins. It caused me to have a nice mid afternoon nap, but then I couldn’t sleep at night. When the clock hit midnight, I realized it was what would have been my first boyfriend’s 47th birthday and also the six month anniversary of his death. It made me think of this day back in 1997.  My father was worried that I was 18 years old and dating someone who was in his mind not 18 yet. He thought I would “go to prison”, but actually, I was 19. (And Matt was turning 19, not 18). I remember feeling a little disappointed that my dad didn’t know how old I was. Now that I look back on it, I’m even more disappointed that he thought you could actually go to prison for dating someone who was younger than you by three weeks. I can understand missing your own kid’s age by a year!  The other thing should have been common sense. 

I got my car back. It runs amazing!  I love it!  The mechanic seemed like he was impressed with my car. He actually seemed like he wanted a hybrid himself, but was more of a pick up truck kind of guy. He reminded me a little bit of a real live version of the animated main character on King of the Hill. He said his Toyota truck has 375K miles on it. 

I’m kind of hoping that Kevin will decide to take my car to Corpus Christi on Monday. His runs great, but with the new battery on mine, it basically runs like new. He said it’s possible, but he’s driving so it’s ultimately up to him. 

My daughter is on her way here now in her little Prelude- tomorrow we are going to the wolf sanctuary in Navasota. Then she’s doing a road trip to Brenham with her friends as a last outing before school starts. They’re going to visit an alpaca farm and the blue bell ice cream factory. When she moves into the dorms next weekend, I’m going out there the day after. 

That’s Ironic!

 I’m a huge fan of the old Unsolved Mysteries from the 90’s, with Robert Stack. I was recently reminded of this segment that I very vaguely remembered. A woman who weighed about 300 pounds was hired as a bookkeeper for a department store and ran off with thousands of dollars. It also turns out she was assuming a stolen identity. The segment was brought up because of all of the extreme shade thrown.  The point was how ruthless they were in the 80’s and 90’s just talking shit. 

I did some research on if she was ever caught or not. It turns out she was. Her real name was Doramae Peterman, and she passed away at age 74 in 2019. 

BUT, five years before her passing in 2014, and before she was found out, she was featured in this article which talks about fraud in home caregiving companies, one of which she was a client of.

“Doramae Peterman, a former Diversity client, said she’s not surprised that the agency ran afoul of the state. “Hardly anyone there knew what was going on,” she said.”

How ironic!!!!  I posted this in my favorite true crime facebook group, as they are mostly all fans of Robert Stack’s Unsolved Mysteries in there, but no comments yet. And yes that really is her. The same woman that did the department store heist in 1986 is the same woman pictured and quoted in that article. 

The One Day Week

 We had a four day weekend. Then we worked today. Now we have another four day weekend. Then Monday, we work all next week in Corpus Christi. The following Saturday will be my daughter’s first day in the dorms and I’m going to San Marcos to bring her dorm warming presents. 

The store we worked at today was in Fairfield, Texas. It wasn’t a gift shop, but it had gifts. They had little stones with encouraging words on them and I got one for my daughter’s dorm room that says “Joy”. It’s because Joy is her middle name. 

I’m not sure why I was so tired and drained today. It was literally a one day week. But we got overtime last week, the week before, and will probably get it next week. 

When we got home, I had a package delivered.  It was a gallon of 99% alcohol isopropyl that I ordered on amazon the day I got my big paycheck. During the pandemic, my ex boyfriend used to give me those gallons for free. I attribute not getting Covid to spraying that around everything including my hands. My hands didn’t even get dry.  That is, I didn’t get Covid until I started collecting cans in 2022. Going from store to store to store to store in nine states during the height of lockdown didn’t give me Covid but collecting cans did. 

Here’s Alex welcoming us home from our one day week. 

Alex and Mitchell also wish all the kids happy back to school. 

Thoughts on Life

 I have been a little fascinated with This story. This couple just had a baby that was a frozen embryo that had been frozen over 30 years. Births resulting from frozen embryos fascinate me. I always think that the person will spend their life thinking that they “should have been” X amount of years older than they are. I followed a mommy blogger who had a baby that was an embryo frozen for 7 years. When he was born, I thought this exact thing. I said to myself, when he’s in 5th grade, he’s going to think he should be graduating from high school, and so on with every other age. 

30 years is like wow. It brings new meaning to the saying, “I was born in the wrong generation.”  The embryo was frozen in November of 1994.  If it had been done in the natural way, 9 months after November of 1994 would have been August of 1995. So he should be celebrating his 30th birthday this month, but he’s a newborn.  

It’s almost like Limbo on Earth.  What if they get to the end of life, say about 90 years old, and think, “I would be 120 now so I wouldn’t even be here right this moment if I hadn’t been frozen.”  It’s daunting.  

However, if I could. I really would “adopt” one.  I regret not having more kids.  I don’t think my husband is fertile.  But I’m too old to be pregnant.  I know some women have done it successfully, but I’m not sure I could handle it at this age.  Ten years of panic attacks did a lot of damage to my body, and I don’t think I could carry a baby to term.  It would be amazing though, to have another child.  I would retire the same year they graduate from high school.  And my husband would be nearly 80.

When I was in high school, I had a classmate whose father was 80.  We were in our junior year, and he was 80 years old and having a lot of health problems and most likely put on hospice.  Her father was a Mormon polygamist and had five wives and 25 children. My classmate was the youngest of 25 children.  I remember his health problems as a result of aging were really stressing her out.  No one knew what to tell her though, because no one else at the age of 16 had 80 year old parents.  She had two half sisters that were older than her mom.  I remember asking her how many nieces and nephews she had total, but she didn’t know.  She knew how many she had from her mom’s kids, but not the others- except she did know that one of the half sisters older than her mom had 15 kids.  Stories like that fascinate me.  Her father must have spent considerable time with her despite having so much responsibility.  I know he must have had a decent relationship with her because of how distressed she was with his normal aging process.  I wouldn’t want a kid to go through that.  My mom is 80 now- it wouldn’t be good for a teenager to deal with that.  

I am still panged with regret over not having more kids.  My one daughter is amazing, and I know if she had younger siblings from my side, they’d be just as awesome.  But, I have to accept that it happened for a reason.  Depression runs in my family. Perhaps my hypothetical second or third children would have struggled their whole lives more than I could imagine.  I don’t know.  I did know a woman once whose son took his own life. She said if someone had told her he would struggle so much, she would have had an abortion.  That’s not a nice story, but it really happened  The Bible says this in Ecclesiastes:

"So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter.And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive.But better than both is the one who has never been born, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun" 

It’s worth considering. I like to imagine that if I had more kids, they’d all be as happy and amazing as Anna, but that also may not have been the case and the universe or God knew what they were doing. 

What do you think about frozen embryos?  Is that ethical?  Do they have souls?  If they grow up, will they ponder what age they would have been?  Do you know any children who were frozen embryos? Would you adopt one if you could handle a pregnancy?  

The time has come! (Refurbished hybrid battery)

I’ve been anticipating replacing my hybrid battery for the last 60K miles.  Well finally the time has come. Yesterday when I was driving down highway 290, the “check hybrid system” warning started flashing on my dashboard and several other dashboard lights lit up. That’s always a real oh shit moment. It lit up like a Christmas tree.  There also seemed to be a buzzing sound. So I put my hazard lights on and got onto the shoulder. I did 30 mph until I was off the freeway and in a convenience store parking lot. I hung out there while I waited on a tow truck and my husband. My husband and I followed them to a shop and dropped the key off and went home 

This morning, the mechanic called and said yes it’s the battery. He gave us three options with quotes. And I’m getting a refurbished battery. 

I’m so relieved. I can’t wait, because my car is going to run like butter now. 

Car repairs have always been a source of anxiety for me. When I was 19, my car broke down and I remember being at the mechanic when my dad showed up. The mechanic asked my dad, “This car has never had an oil change, has it?”  I was standing right there and said, “What’s an oil change?”  So I guess he got his answer. My father was PISSED. I used to think he was pissed that I didn’t know what an oil change but now that I’m older, I realize that he was actually humiliated. He should have been teaching me what an oil change was, and probably looked like a bad father when I said that right in front of the mechanic. 

My parents and several of my aunts and even older cousins would always kind of threaten me “What are you going to do if your car breaks down?” But never taught me facts of what could actually happen and how much it would cost. I was always presented with scenarios of catastrophic break downs that I couldn’t afford and then would have no way to get to work so I would have to quit and then have no way to pay my rent so I would have to move back in with my parents. It was said by people in my family who were pissed that I wanted independence. My ex husband was a mechanic when I married him in 2004, and that was the start of slowly learning the basics. When Google became a staple, I started googling everything, and when I bought my hybrid I started googling things specific to hybrids. I started small sinking funds just for the inevitable. Sinking funds were also something I was never taught about when I was my daughter’s age and older. It means you’re saving money for a specific inevitable thing, like a car repair or a root canal (or whatever). They can also be for some kind of expense you have annually that you can’t do on a monthly basis for whatever reason. It’s possible. I was just never taught these things. Just yelled at and questioned like they were the cops about what I would do in certain situations and then being threatened with the worst scenario imaginable. 

I’m so glad that now, 25-30 years later, I can go through the inevitable snafus with knowledge and ability to take care of it without it being catastrophic. I’ve been through a lot in this car. It’s taken me all over 9 states for work. (Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois and Tennessee)- but not all over Tennessee, just Memphis. I slept in it a lot, too!  I just can’t give it up yet. Plus I just paid it off so