Friends becoming grandparents

 

I’m officially “old” because one of my bff’s from childhood now has a grandchild. Another one of my bff’s was going to be a grandma, but the baby was stillborn on the 4th of July, 2020. I thought of that baby this past July 4th, because it would have been her “golden birthday.” 

This is the first earth side grandchild of any of my same age friends. This friend of mine has 9 kids, and the oldest is the one that just had this baby. The final three of my friend’s kids were born when the oldest was in high school. She was responsible for the gender reveal every time, and every time, my friend taunted her daughter with “I want to know”. “Wait, no I don’t.” Etc. I find it hilarious that now that her oldest has had a child of her own, she was extremely tight lipped about the sex of the baby. I honestly kind of still don’t know what it is. There’s no bow, so I’m guessing it’s a boy. 

Also- are they dressing newborns like the klan now?  Jeez, honestly I would have folded over the point before taking this pic. 

Student Loan with $0 Balance

 So I just wanted to share this breakdown of my student loan balance. I recently paid off the third of seven loans from my college degree. The first one I paid off was not included here, because it was private and not through Navient (Which is now “Aidvantage”). 1-03 was paid off sometime in 2019. I started making payments again when interest started accruing again in September of 2023. When making all payments, I made sure that I made the balance decrease a little bit. I also made sure that my entire payment went to loan 1-05, because it was the lowest balance. 

Now that I’ve done this, the next loan to tackle is 1-06, because it has the next lowest balance. I’m not sure interest rates matter all that much, because I’m on an income based repayment plan (IBR).  When you are on an IBR, your amortization reverses, and the loan balance goes up and up and up the more payments you make. This is why people really want to smack people when they say “Your education can’t be taken away from you.”  You better believe I wish someone could take it away from me!  This was the biggest mistake of my life, and if getting a college degree is something that you believe in or do not regret for yourself, then my opinion on mine has no bearing on you. Different paths are for different people, but 25-35 years ago, no one seemed to understand that. When my generation was growing up, we were taught that NOT going to college would cause poverty. Not the other way around. People with balances as much as ten times higher than mine have paid them off multiple times over but still owe more than what they took out. That’s why I’m adamant that it just decrease, even if it decreases by $10-$20. If your balance decreases by even very little, you are doing better than most people my age and younger. And my total balance of only $18K makes it possible for me to do that. Most people owe wayyyyy more than $18K. It’s also important to pay attention to one loan at a time. It surprises me that so many people don’t even know that it’s broken up into 5-10 different loans like this. That is because we were all just hurried into signing dotted lines and weren’t told what we were doing. 

If you can manage to pay off the loans within the loans, then if a politician decides to take away IBR, your total monthly payments will be a lot lower than they were when you first graduated. And for people who think loans will be forgiven after “20 years” of IBR- yeah, right when it gets to that point, some politician is going to do away with that too. They lied about so much, how on earth are we supposed to believe that one too?  Many people who have applied for the forgiveness that has something to do with being a public servant (forget what it’s called), I mean so many of them get denied for stupid loopholes. It’s never going to happen. 

That’s why I’m not sure those “6.8 and 3.4” interest rates matter much. The interest just compounds and compounds and compounds anyway. Regardless, for now, the next one being focused on has a 6.8, so if it’s “the right thing to do” to pay off the higher interest ones first, then I’m still doing that.  

These aren’t like regular car loans or mortgages with amortization schedules that have clear plans to pay off. YOU have to figure it out, and that needs to involve not taking advice from a generation that seems like they wanted to see a lot of us fail so they could get a good laugh.  If a genie granted me a wish, I actually would wish for my college degree to get repossessed. That would be a dream come true!  And it would cause my car (the actual necessity) to be paid off in no time, because the student loans also meant a much higher car payment (or at least it would have if I hadn’t had them when I bought the car). 

It just wrecks your life in ways no one would have ever told you when you were young. Whenever people my age and younger talk about how we did what we were told and this is what happened to our lives, we’re laughed at by the same people that gave us the advice we took. 

Sometimes it amazes me that I made this happen over the weekend- and I did it by returning to a job I had in my early 20’s that I was told to quit and go back to school. And to top off all of my badness, I ended up romantically involved with my supervisor. It worries me sometimes that someone might have a problem with my life now, but I decided if someone does, then I can put on an extremely straight face and say I charge $20K to take major life advice now.  When I told my mom this, she actually said “But some people don’t have $20K.”  I laughed. Did she hear what I said?  I’m just proud of myself for making another one of these read $0. 

Hot Take No One Asked For

 My unpopular opinion is this:

Whenever someone says “no one told them” that motherhood required sacrifice, or that “no one told them childbirth was painful” or that “no one told them” they’d have to get up at night, I actually don’t believe them. I think people that say those things are lying. Everyone tells you those things. 

That depiction of motherhood was everywhere. Personally, it was a lot of the positives that no one ever told me about. TV and movie scenes of childbirth involved lots of screaming. There’s actually an entire YouTube channel of tv and movie childbirth scenes called “Birthly TV”. 

Everyone told you it was painful.  Come on now. 

Senior pictures 👩🏻‍🎓

Cap and gown pics come later I guess?  She picked one of these to be used in the yearbook. I added a picture of myself at age 17 for comparison.  Yes I’m holding up a bottle of liquor in the picture, because it was taken in Greece, where the drinking age was 12. 

 

Spanish Teacher

Not sure why yesterday I was thinking of my Spanish teacher from the University of Houston. At U of H, there were two groups of Spanish classes- one for those that spoke it in the home and one for those who didn’t.  I was in the one for those who didn’t, of course. One afternoon, the teacher pulled me aside and asked me if I grew up speaking Spanish in the home. I said no, I didn’t.  “Oh ok,” she replied.  “It’s just that your accent is so natural.”  I told her that all four of my grandparents were from Greece, and that’s why I could do an accent.  She said “oh ok well just making sure you’re in the right class.”  

This teacher was from Argentina, and she didn’t know what a chimichanga was. Some people in the class explained it to her and she had a look of disgust on her face. “This doesn’t sound too good, this chimichanga.” She said. It made me kind of wonder if “chimichanga” meant some kind of nasty slang in Argentina.

This was about 12-13 years ago. I had a total of four and a half years of Spanish lessons, and the most frustrating thing in the world is to be listening to a Spanish tv or radio station and literally know all the words, but not be able to string them together to know what they’re talking about. 

The best time of life to learn a second language is when you are three years old. When my daughter was three, I sat her down in front of Spanish Sesame Street for this reason, but couldn’t get her interested. I started learning Greek at age 7 and Spanish at age 15. The best way to learn a second language if you’re over the age of three is to go visit a country where it’s the main language spoken, not in a traditional classroom. . This is called instant immersion.  Maybe I’ll try it next time I’m in El Paso. 

We Finally Catch a Break

 Kevin and I are in the middle of six days off. I thought I’d be really productive, and maybe I have. But I’m just tired. We go back to work on Wednesday, which will be in Louisiana until Monday the 27th. 

Yesterday I went to a place in college station called “all phone toys” because he said he could fix the fact that my phone can’t charge. The phone was just dirty. I can hear a lot better out of it now. I also got me a new screen protector and case. My total there was about $75, and I did about $60 worth of side jobs all over the area. 

I also paid $5 on YouTube for a British series called MaryLand, because my celebrity crush of 30 years was in it, and it also looked like a good story. My long time celebrity crush is a British actor named Andrew Knott. A lot of things he was in don’t even look that good, though, so I never rented or purchased them.  This was about two sisters who found out after their mother’s death that she’d been living a double life on the Isle of Man. Andrew Knott played the husband of one of them, and good Lord- the amount of weaponized incompetence in the character he played almost made me fire him as my celebrity crush. (I’m just kidding- it was actually kind of funny.) 

Maryland was very good, though. I couldn’t imagine keeping a secret from my own daughter, though. Or would I?  I never have, unless it was something non age appropriate. But by the time I’m in my 70’s and she’s in her 40’s, I hope there are no secrets. Especially one of the magnitude in MaryLand. 

Kevin and I got into a conversation about Joshua and the battle of Jericho in the Bible. It’s an enormously disturbing story, but I still love this song. I played it for Kevin, and he likes it too. It has a completely different meaning than the disturbing nature of the biblical battle of Jericho. 

I did also have a couple of minor accomplishments. I finished my blog post on why I believe more missing people are actually alive than are assumed. If anyone wants me to link it, let me know. I’m still a little skittish about sharing any of my child advocacy stuff that I do under a pseudonym. Eventually I will though. 

I also started another rainbow denim chenille quilt, but only got rows red through green. This is bigger and may include a pink row, but I'm not sure yet. 

I also made a blue quilt, but do not have pics. The quilts with the blue themes are more boring, but the fabric is easier to find cheap. One of my friends thinks I should have some 7-8 before starting an Etsy shop. That’s the goal. What do you think, should a rainbow quilt contain a pink row or not? 

Another Photo Dump

My mom sent me this picture from her wedding day in 1967.  There is a better picture of this exact grouping of people, all looking at the camera. This must have been taken a minute or so before that one. My mom was only 22 when she got married. What would you say if a 22 year old got married today? 

We bought my mom a lawn mower for Christmas so that we can do her lawn. The people she calls and pays to do it have become unreliable. This will pay for itself in less than ten mowings. She did take a picture of me mowing, but it’s awful. I’m making a face in the picture like I’m constipated. The good thing is that I’m thinner in the pic than I thought I’d look. But I’m not posting it! 

All the buttons I got off of clothing from 25 cent Wednesday's to cut up for sewing projects. 

Perspective

My daughter sent me this, insinuating that I do this. It’s not an age thing, it’s a schedule thing. I really do get up that early. 

 

 

Photo Dump

I have a lot of stuff to write about, but I don’t even know where to start. Instead, here’s a photo dump. 

Kevin bought this hat at a store we did inventory at. I love it. He looks like an aviator.  

This poor person tried so hard to deactivate their facebook account that they accidentally created a new one. And ended up with two friends. 

I was wondering where my hair ties went- Kevin used them to hang ornaments. 

I made my step goal of 10K on my day off. It was my only day off since new years. Had to do it on the treadmill at the gym. The goal for workdays is 7500. 

I swear people will just say anything about perimenopause. They’ll say the most random thing is a sign of perimenopause, and then they’ll say the complete opposite of that is also a sign. (What I’m saying it that this pic claims things that are the exact opposite of what I have heard before). 

Throwback to a “quilt” my daughter made at age 3. 

My mom gave us a paper towel holder that looks like Mitchell. Now every time I walk into the kitchen, I think he’s on the counter. 

 

46 Year Old Nepo Baby

 A few weeks ago, my ex boyfriend, who lives in Arizona, texted me out of the blue and asked what were the names of the six apps I do retail audits on as a side job. He said his former girlfriend M was now living in her car and he wanted to tell her about them so she could improve her situation. I gave him the names of all the apps with my referral links *even though* there was always kind of an understanding among people who do this to not be handing the referral links out so much. In the online spaces for these apps, we all seemed to understand that would cause over saturation. But I did it this one time anyway. I haven’t done any of those jobs in about three months honestly. 

Then I asked my ex boyfriend why M can’t move in with him. I made it ABUNDANTLY clear that I was encouraging him getting back with her. Don’t wait for me to be single again, because I don’t plan on it. He said because his mother would take his house away if he ever had a live in girlfriend or got remarried. I knew his parents owned his house, but I didn’t know they were so against him having a second marriage or second family to the point that they’d take his house away. He never told me that. He just always made sure that they never knew I was visiting, and everyone else in my life thought that he was hiding me from another woman. He also works at his parents’ company, and the downside to that is they have convinced him that literally no one would ever hire him ever. So he HAS to work for them. My ex boyfriend has his own side business as a stagehand, and he’s done some pretty amazing shows. He also used to be a surgical technician, assisting surgeons by handing them instruments and sometimes even closing people up. I started to realize just how hard it must be for him. It made me glad that my parents weren’t business owners. If they were, I’d be in the same situation. 

A few weeks later, one of the apps informed me that I received a $25 referral bonus. I texted him to let him know. He then lied and said that she shit all over the idea and wasn’t doing any of the jobs. I said actually, I wouldn’t have gotten the referral bonus unless she’d done at least 200 or 250 audits just on that one app alone. He didn’t respond, and I don’t really want to speak to him again other than to get updates on his kids. I’m so glad I moved on, and I hope he and M do as well.  Apparently she’s been working at the Amazon warehouse AND doing the apps. If he went back to working in a hospital and kept up with the stagehand side business, they could do really well even if he did lose his house. Some people's parents really suck, and sometimes I wonder if the previous generation actually set us up to fail so they could have a good laugh. I’ll always care about him, but I’m no longer in love with him. And I’ll always love his kids.  

Step Count and Creative Endeavor Goals

 

Yup I achieved my step goal for the 2nd day of 2025!  It’s 7,500 for work days and 10,000 for days off. It took a bit of pacing around the house, but I got some house chores done as I paced!  

We worked today on the Bolivar Peninsula. I took this video and this video. Actually two years ago today was the first day I ever met Kevin, and we did the exact same jobs on the peninsula. I had done this job 17-20 years prior. It was my old boyfriend that gave me the idea to go back. We weren’t a “real couple” because of being long distance, but he and I had been best friends since age 15. It’s a long story. He’s about to move on to someone else too- if his mom lets him. Isn’t that sad, a 46 year old needs to do what his mom tells him?  But she owns his house and he’s a Nepo Baby, so a lot is at stake. I’m glad I moved on. I’m glad all that happened in the last two years happened. Things have a way of working out. I work the next three days at least, so the step count goal will also be 7500 steps each day. 

When I mentioned my new year goals, I mentioned health and fitness and finances. I also forgot to mention creative endeavors. I would like to open an Etsy shop with denim chenille quilts and upcycled jewelry. 

With my writing, I want to take five days off when inventory slows down and just check into a motel by myself and do nothing but write. Whether or not that ever happens I still set the goal to set aside 30 minutes a day to my writing. To prepare for that, I cleaned my desk and wiped the whole area down with grapefruit smelling wipes. 

Vegetarian Poppers 🍆 🫑

 This was my not so lame attempt to make vegetarian poppers. A lot of vegetarians make “bacon” out of eggplant slices, liquid smoke, and W sauce. I mixed those two sauces into the cream cheese before stuffing the peppers. Then I blanched the eggplant slices before wrapping. Then baked until I felt it was ready. They don’t look good in the pic, but they were awesome!