Tidbits

This was in my Facebook memories- the picture of my daughter's first Halloween in 2007 dressed as a banana, that I posted below, side by side with the one of me holding her. 

Her expression in the pic of me holding her is like “Get me out of this thing” lol. Baby side eye. 

I did a lot today. We went to a town called Schulenberg and did inventory there at one little quickie store. When we got home, I went out alone and did my own shopping. I went to Walmart and HEB.  I also got an oil change. I bought a bunch of groceries to get back on the healthy eating bandwagon. 

I also somehow injured my thumb. I don't know how it happened, and I do not want to see a doctor. I mean, ideally I would like to see a doctor. But my PCP is a nightmare to deal with. I really can't wait to start over somewhere where no one knows I was ever prescribed gabapentin. I called my insurance to find an urgent care with Xray capabilities. They gave me several locations contact info, but I called each one, and none had X-ray. That process is so fucking maddening. It's the same situation with finding a new PCP. A bunch of listings are given to you but when you call each one, they are not open, or they're really a pediatric dentist, or they're in Arkansas, or always some wild thing why I can't go to them as a PCP like my insurance said. When I tell my insurance company this, they just say “Oh I’m sorry to hear that.”  

And who has time for a million dead end calls like that?  Not me, not this time of year!  So what I did is I bought a box of two finger splints with metal, put the bigger metal splint over my right thumb that hurts at the base. Then wrap it with bandages that self stick around my hand and wrist. And I’m going to work like that!  Yup!  But I do such a good job immobilizing my thumb that the pain is subsiding. A couple days ago, I was alternating Tylenol and Motrin but don’t need to anymore. I take it off in the evenings at home, but I sleep with it and I also wore it while shopping today. 

I have no idea how this happened. I’m afraid that someone will think I punched someone. I swear I didn’t!  The pain is at the base of my thumb- I think when you punch people, you hurt your four other knuckles. But I wouldn’t know because I’ve never punched anyone, and definitely not with the base of my thumb. I also hate it lately when they ask you to rate the pain from 1-10. I’ve seen ER nurses on TikTok making fun of ppl for rating their pain high. They think you’re a drug seeker if you rate it high, but honestly why would you go to the ER if your pain level was like a two?  The rating it from 1-10 doesn’t prove anything, but an X-ray will. Unfortunately, you have to go through the triage nurses before you can get an X-ray. I just don’t want to be entertaining that question with anyone associated with the pcp. Honestly, on a scale of 1-10, my pain has been about a five the last week or so, but is now probably only a 2-3. Immobilizing helps. And why pay $80 for a doc to tell me that when I already know? 

I did some google image searching for Queen Esther, ever since entertaining the name Hadassah (Dassy) as a pen name. Years and years ago, I struggled to learn what an advocate really was. It’s easy nowadays to learn what an advocate is, but things were different back then.  I got an entire lesson from someone called “Advocates in the Bible”. I’ll talk about it on here someday. The person who wrote this lesson has passed away, and I have to really rake my brains to remember all of it. I need to incorporate it into my book called The Child Advocate. Unfortunately, it won’t be possible to do without rereading the stories. Since there’s really not a snowball’s chance in hell that I’m going to have time to sit down and read the Bible any time soon, (not cover to cover like I used to anyway), I’ll just list the biblical figures and then watch cartoons about them. It’s easier. 

At the time, Daniel (from the lions den in the Old Testament) was listed as one of the “advocates in the Bible” and the person who wrote this lesson mentioned that he was my “patron saint”. He actually wasn’t, but I appreciated the idea. I printed a picture of Daniel in the lions den for above my desk for inspiration. At the time, I would have liked to believe that no harm would come to me either. I’m realizing now that harm did come to me, because I have vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma sucks, but I still have almost no regrets when it comes to working with kids. 

If my main character is named Dassy, then that little anecdote about my “patron saint” becomes much more interesting. (I wouldn’t call it a patron saint though, I’d probably just use the word namesake). Queen Esther actually was an advocate, that's why it's more interesting. She actually did go before the king and plead for a cause. If I recall correctly, Daniel didn't do that much. He just stood his ground. That's important too. But the latter story is more inspirational as it relates to what I'm writing. 

I looked on google images for Queen Esther. I found this one, and I thought- what is she wearing?  If you've seen The Handmaid’s Tale, I mean it looks like she has on the dress of a commander’s wife and a handmade’s robe over it. I like the picture below it better- her hair is longer, her mauve dress doesn't remind me of The Handmaids Tale, and she's “pleading” more.