A Funny and a Sad

There was a post on facebook that was complaining about menopause symptoms, including chin hair. I made this comment, “I just know it feels super victorious when I pluck a chin hair with just my fingers.”  

My comment got over 2,000 likes and hundreds of comments telling me I have skills. It’s rare that I make a comment and get so many likes and comments. 

On a sad note, I had a weird dream last night about my first boyfriend who passed away in February 9th of this year. I had put an ambient sound on YouTube to fall asleep to. The video was three hours long. I fell asleep and then I started having a dream that I was trying to save the life of my first boyfriend. In the dream, I was trying to get him out of an area that was basically the afterlife, but I couldn’t do it. In my dream, I could hear the song kind of loudly, “Saving Me” by Nickleback. I forced myself to wake up and discovered that that song was now playing on YouTube

  It was the actual music video that was playing, but I linked to the lyric video just to show how weird this dream was. The lyrics fit. 

I am madly in love with my husband Kevin.  I still grieve when I think of Matt and how he was lost too soon. 

I haven’t thought of him lately, other than when I marvel at how proud I am of my daughter. My daughter is now the same age I was when I met Matt, and she’s everything we dreamed our future kids would be. He was not her father- we broke up in our early 20’s and I married Anna’s father when I was 26. Anna’s father is still living. Matt was my first love. Just to clarify. 

We couldn’t wait to have a large family and see how “our kids” would turn out. We had a lot of opposition, but in the end it seems like we were right about giving our kids a better start in life than what we had. When we were dating, we were considered failures by the older people in our life. He went on to have two sons that I never knew- one older and one younger than my child. I’m sure they’re just as amazing as Anna, even if his passing was a setback for them. Sometimes me and Kevin look at each other and say, “We did it!”  

If Matt was here, I think at this point in life, we could have told each other, “We did it.”  Maybe not together, but we did it- we raised amazing kids with a better start in life than we had. 

Also This scene comes to mind. I saw that movie a long time ago.