I Asked For A Raise

 So normally, we are a crew of four- me and my husband, the manager and his wife. It’s literally a double date. All day, every day!  

Recently, we got a fifth person- the nephew of the manager. Nephew said he worked here before, from 2014-2018. I also worked here before from 2002-2005.  

About two weeks ago, my manager’s wife and nephew and I were standing around after we uploaded our inventory, and the nephew was telling her and I about a friend of his who lives in Nebraska.  This friend of his drives a truck for a farm chain up there. Then the nephew said he has no idea why his Nebraska friend “wastes his time with this job, because it only pays-“ and then he said how much it paid per hour, which was literally double what I make per hour. 

I have been scratching my head for two weeks. I talked to my husband about it. Why would he look down his nose so much about someone wasting their time making twice what I make, when he’s working the exact same job as me? Does he make more than twice what I make.  Because that’s what it sounds like?  Kevin laughed and insisted “There’s no way he makes that much.”  I said ok “But why would he say that?” 

Kevin responded, “Well maybe he just meant it’s not enough for trucking.” 

I said, “Trucking is mostly just driving.” 

Kevin said, “But they’re away from home a lot.” 

I said, “So are we.”  

Kevin rested his case and still insisted that there was no way nephew made twice what I make. 

I have never in my life ever asked for a raise or even negotiated my pay. Ever. My parents always taught me that I should just be grateful I have any job at all, and if I ever dared to ask or negotiate that not only would I immediately be replaced, but I would also somehow be blacklisted from ever getting a job again. (I’m not sure how-  it’s funny the things we grow up to realize were off the wall advice.)

The conversation about the farm trucker in Nebraska has been grinding my gears and burning my balls all week. I finally decided to email the owner of the company and ask her for a raise. I only asked her for a 50 cent raise- NOT “double” lol. I think I did a very articulate job with asking and being my own cheerleader. Yes there were fears that my dad would be right and she’d fire me immediately. It wouldn’t be the worst thing though. I also have a million and one things that I’ve learned my parents and other elders were wrong about. I should have been more confident that I wouldn’t get fired for asking. She responded kind of quickly saying she appreciated all I do and that they would review it and get back to me. 

I told my mom. She then told me that the CEO’s response was “typical.”  I thought to myself, how do you know it’s typical if you’ve always told me that I would be instantly replaced if I ever asked?  Didn’t say that out loud though. Sounds like she’s asked before. 

I’m so glad I asked, even if I don’t get it. Asking for a raise for the first time in my life a month before turning 47