Risky Behavior

I still occasionally look on psychology today for therapists, but I no longer message them. I call them and speak to them if they answer or if they call back. I do not leave voicemails. If I can get them on the phone, I tell them that I’m looking for a therapist and immediately give the disclaimer that I married my supervisor a year and a half ago(sometimes I say boss)-

And that’s not why I need therapy- it’s just a fact about me that other therapists have taken issue with. What I need therapy for, I explain compactly, is a complex childhood followed by going onto work with children and vulnerable adults and that I feel like I’ve absorbed all the trauma of the people I’ve cared for. 

It’s all the truth. 

Regarding my marriage, I spoke to a therapist on the phone today. She had a very sweet bubbly voice and said that she is a harm reduction therapist. This means that she’s not going to be against anything that you feel doesn’t harm you. She might express “curiosity”, but will not “tell you what to do”.

 Ugh. When I say I went on to work with children and vulnerable adults, they should know that I know what a lot of things are. Harm reduction is largely used for drug addicts on the street. I followed a young woman who did it in skid row in Los Angeles. Here’s the Google definition of harm reduction:

This lady was equating me marrying Kevin to a risky behavior. And instead of demanding immediate abstinence, she was going to meet me where I was in order to keep me alive. Wow!  Thanks I guess!  Maybe I’ll go live on skid row!  I’m so risky. 

Another woman I talked to about five days ago claimed that she worked with throuples and polycules.  If you don’t know what that means, it’s more than two people in one romantic relationship. A throuple is three people all in love with each other. A polycule is four or more. You would need a therapist to prevent jealousy. I guess, I mean I don’t know because I’ve never done that. But the throuple/polycule affirming therapist also said that my marriage and how we met was a “concern” 

lol!  But it would be better if we met another way and had a sister wife and a brother husband!!!  

I honestly don’t know why I keep doing this. Maybe a part of me still hopes that one will honest to god truly meet me where I am and listen to my stories. And help me deal through them. For now though, the chartreuse notebooks had to do. I did get Anna today, but more on that later. She’s doing great!